The best ugly jokes

Yo mamma so ugly that her birth certificate came with an apology letter from the condom factory.
Vote: has 76.45 % from 260 votes. Send joke:

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Your momma so ugly she gave Freddy Kruger nightmares.
Vote: has 75.18 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

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You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo.
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, ugly
A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!" The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, husband, ugly, vulgar, wife
A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables. The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?" "Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?" "Because you're really ugly," replied the man.
Vote: has 73.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, men, single, ugly, women
"Madam, your son just called me an ugly swine!" The mother apologizes shamefacedly, "I'm so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look..."
Vote: has 73.48 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, vulgar
I have a bumper sticker saying, "Honk if you think I'm sexy". Some days I just stand at a green light till I'm feeling good about myself.
Vote: has 73.44 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, ugly
Roses are red, Violets are blue, faces like yours belong in a zoo. Don't worry I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
Vote: has 72.95 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, insulting, poems, ugly
A chubbier woman: "Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" Mirror: "Kindly move aside. I can't see anything."
Vote: has 72.56 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, ugly, women
Yo' mama is so bald, when she wears a turtleneck it looks like a busted rubber.
Vote: has 72.04 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: ugly, Yo mama