The best ugly jokes

Yo mama so hairy when she went to space the aliens thought she was chubacco.
Vote: has 59.75 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, ugly, Yo mama
A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked now. The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager replied, "That's not good," and promised he wouldn't say it again. When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady." She paused and said, "Yes?" The bird said, "You know."
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, ugly, work
Q: How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne? A: It's when the blind try to read your face.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, health, ugly
You mama so bugle one detection went the other derection.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, ugly, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so ugly, she has to sneak up to water fountains to get a drink.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Yo mamas teeth are so yellow she helped Dorothy get to the emerald city.
Vote: has 56.98 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, ugly, Yo mama
An elderly couple was driving across the country. While the woman was behind the wheel, the couple was pulled over by the highway patrol. “Ma’am, did you know you were speeding?” the officer said. The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, “What did he say?” “He said you were speeding!” the old man yelled. The patrolman then asked, “May I see your license?” The woman turned to her husband again, “What did he say?” The old man yelled back, “He wants to see your license!” The woman then gave the officer her license. “I see you are from Arkansas,” the patrolman said. “I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I’ve ever seen.” The woman turned to her husband again and asked, “What did he say?” The old man replied, “He said he knows you!
Vote: has 56.98 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, dating, husband, old people, ugly
I have a green nose, three red mouths, and four purple ears. What am I? Ugly!
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, ugly
Gay translation I want a commitment. I'm sick of masturbation. Haven't I seen you before? Nice ass. I need you. My hand is tired. You're the only man I've ever cared about. You are the only man who hasn't rejected me. I'm a Romantic. I'm poor. I really want to get to know you better. So I can tell my friends about it. It's just orange juice, try it. 3 more shots, and he'll have his legs around my head. He's kinda cute. I want to have sex with him till my dick turns blue! He's not my type. He won't sleep with me. I miss you so much I am so horny that my dog is starting to look good. I had a wonderful time last night. Who the hell are you? Do you love me? I've done something stupid and you might find out. Do you 'really' love me? I've done something stupid and you're going to find out. I'll give you a call. I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again. I've been thinking a lot. You're not as attractive as when I was drunk. I think we should just be friends. You're ugly. I've learned a lot from you. Next!!!!
Vote: has 55.74 % from 200 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, gay, love, masturbation, ugly
Yo mama so fat that when god said let there be light. When god saw her he said let there be darkness.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, god, ugly, Yo mama