The best ugly jokes

Yo' mama is so bald, when she wears a turtleneck it looks like a busted rubber.
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has 65.56 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: ugly, Yo mama
A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks. "No", the guy says, "She's not that ugly."
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has 65.47 % from 429 votes. More jokes about: sex, ugly
An elderly couple was driving across the country. While the woman was behind the wheel, the couple was pulled over by the highway patrol. “Ma’am, did you know you were speeding?” the officer said. The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, “What did he say?” “He said you were speeding!” the old man yelled. The patrolman then asked, “May I see your license?” The woman turned to her husband again, “What did he say?” The old man yelled back, “He wants to see your license!” The woman then gave the officer her license. “I see you are from Arkansas,” the patrolman said. “I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I’ve ever seen.” The woman turned to her husband again and asked, “What did he say?” The old man replied, “He said he knows you!
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has 65.14 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: cop, dating, husband, old people, ugly
As a child, I was afreid of ghosts. As I grew up, I realised people are more scary.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, vulgar
Your mama so ugly when god was making light he told her to step out the way.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: ugly, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so ugly, when she walked past the toilet, it flushed itself.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: ugly, Yo mama
A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked now. The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager replied, "That's not good," and promised he wouldn't say it again. When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady." She paused and said, "Yes?" The bird said, "You know."
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, ugly, work
Yo mama so ugly the devil is afraid of her.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: ugly, Yo mama
I was walking home last night when I noticed an old drunk staggering along the road. He passed a woman who was walking a young child. "Lady", said the drunk, "that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen. Damn, that is one ugly child!." As the drunk wandered off, the lady burst into tears. Just then, a mailman came to her rescue. "What's the matter, madam?" he asked. "I've just been horribly insulted" she sobbed. "There there," said the mailman, reaching into his pocket. "Dry your eyes with this tissue, and here's a banana for the chimp"
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has 63.45 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, food, kids, ugly
A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks. "No", the guy says, "She's not that ugly."
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has 63.41 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: dirty, ugly
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