The best weather jokes

An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat. "But will it be all right in the rain?" she asked anxiously. "Oh certainly, ma am," said the manager smoothly. "After all, you've never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?"
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, weather
What does an octopus wear on a cold day? A coat of arms.
has 57.73 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, weather
Q: What is the sound of Chuck Norris clapping one hand? A: Thunder.
has 57.63 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music, weather
All employees are encouraged to stay with relatives and friends while on business travel. If weather permits, public areas such as parks should be used as temporary lodging sites. Bus terminals, train stations, and office lobbies may provide shelter in periods of inclement weather.
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: travel, weather, work
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, weather
Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, weather
A woman called the Colorado State Division of Wildlife regarding a snake in her backyard. "Can you tell me what kind it is?" she asked. "Can you describe it?" I asked. "Yes," she said. "It's long and thin."
has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, geography, stupid, weather
While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather, to how things used to be in the “good old days.” Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked, “Roy, aren’t you and your bride celebrating your fiftieth wedding anniversary soon?” “Yup, we sure are,” Roy replied. “Well, are you gonna do anything special to celebrate?” another man asked. The old gentleman pondered this for a moment, then replied, “For our twenty-fifth anniversary, I took Bea to Tucson. Maybe for our fiftieth, I’ll go down there and get her.”
has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, food, old people, weather
Go to your back door and look for the dog. If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard. If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy. If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing. Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather. Yours sincerely,  The CAT
has 54.77 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, weather
Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado. Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.
has 54.33 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
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