The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.
Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"
Chuck Norris doesn't contribute to global warming, he exhales pure oxygen.
Yo' mama so stupid, she thought the Blizzard of '96 was a new item at Dairy Queen!
While vacationing in a remote area of Alaska, I met an old mountain man, wise in the ways one need be to live in an extreme wilderness area like he did. I asked him about the weater, did it rain a lot? He said; "See those mountains over there" and he pointed to them." I replied, "Yes." "Well," he replied, ".. if you can't see those mountains, that means it's raining. If you can see them, that means it's going to rain."
Chuck Norris can wipe rainwater from inside his car.
Chuck Norris can strike the same lightning twice.
Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.
Climate change is just Chuck Norris playing with the thermostat.