Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado.
Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.
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Yo' mama so stupid, she thought the Blizzard of '96 was a new item at Dairy Queen!
The climate requires Chuck's permission to change.
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While vacationing in a remote area of Alaska, I met an old mountain man, wise in the ways one need be to live in an extreme wilderness area like he did.
I asked him about the weater, did it rain a lot? He said;
"See those mountains over there" and he pointed to them."
I replied, "Yes."
"Well," he replied, ".. if you can't see those mountains, that means it's raining. If you can see them, that means it's going to rain."
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Q: Why do hurricanes travel so fast?
A: Because if they travelled slowly, we'd have to call them slow-i-canes.
Q: Why does California have so many destructive earthquakes and Alabama has black people?
A: California got first pick.
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Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
A: Because then the children have to play inside.
Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.
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It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom:
“Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing.
” Twenty minutes later there was another announcement:
“Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class.”
Chuck Norris can create tornados by running around in circles.
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