The best weather jokes

An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat. "But will it be all right in the rain?" she asked anxiously. "Oh certainly, ma am," said the manager smoothly. "After all, you've never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?"
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, weather
Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, weather
All employees are encouraged to stay with relatives and friends while on business travel. If weather permits, public areas such as parks should be used as temporary lodging sites. Bus terminals, train stations, and office lobbies may provide shelter in periods of inclement weather.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: travel, weather, work
Q: Why does California have so many destructive earthquakes and Alabama has black people? A: California got first pick.
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has 54.00 % from 192 votes. More jokes about: black people, weather
Tornadoes have sirens to warn them when Chuck Norris is coming.
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has 53.78 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
There were three women who always hung their laundry out in the backyard. Two of the women noticed Sophie never had her laundry out on days that it rained. One day, they were all out in the backyard putting their clothes on the line when one of the women said to Sophie, "How come when it rains, your laundry is never out?" "Well," said Sophie, "when I wake up in the morning, I look over at Paul. If his penis is hanging over his right leg, I know I can hang out the wash. If his penis is hanging over his left leg, I know it's going to rain, so I don't hang out the wash." "What if it is pointed straight up?" asked one of the women. "On a day like that, I don't bother with the laundry."
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has 53.71 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: marriage, weather
Chuck Norris can stand the rain...
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
While vacationing in a remote area of Alaska, I met an old mountain man, wise in the ways one need be to live in an extreme wilderness area like he did. I asked him about the weater, did it rain a lot? He said; "See those mountains over there" and he pointed to them." I replied, "Yes." "Well," he replied, ".. if you can't see those mountains, that means it's raining. If you can see them, that means it's going to rain."
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: old people, weather
Lightning doesn't strike Chuck Norris, chuck norris strikes lightning!
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has 51.81 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, time, travel, weather
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