The best weather jokes

Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, weather
All employees are encouraged to stay with relatives and friends while on business travel. If weather permits, public areas such as parks should be used as temporary lodging sites. Bus terminals, train stations, and office lobbies may provide shelter in periods of inclement weather.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: travel, weather, work
Go to your back door and look for the dog. If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard. If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy. If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing. Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather. Yours sincerely,  The CAT
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has 53.62 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, weather
Q: Why does California have so many destructive earthquakes and Alabama has black people? A: California got first pick.
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has 52.60 % from 204 votes. More jokes about: black people, weather
Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? A: Because then the children have to play inside.
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, kids, weather
It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: “Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing. ” Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: “Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class.”
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has 52.42 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: car, school, student, weather
There were three women who always hung their laundry out in the backyard. Two of the women noticed Sophie never had her laundry out on days that it rained. One day, they were all out in the backyard putting their clothes on the line when one of the women said to Sophie, "How come when it rains, your laundry is never out?" "Well," said Sophie, "when I wake up in the morning, I look over at Paul. If his penis is hanging over his right leg, I know I can hang out the wash. If his penis is hanging over his left leg, I know it's going to rain, so I don't hang out the wash." "What if it is pointed straight up?" asked one of the women. "On a day like that, I don't bother with the laundry."
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has 51.96 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: marriage, weather
A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, time, travel, weather
Q: What do women, tornadoes and hurricanes have in common? A: They all get the house.
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has 51.37 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: marriage, weather, women
Q: Why do hurricanes travel so fast? A: Because if they travelled slowly, we'd have to call them slow-i-canes.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: travel, weather
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