The best weather jokes

The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.
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A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"
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Chuck Norris doesn't contribute to global warming, he exhales pure oxygen.
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Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? A: Because then the children have to play inside.
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While vacationing in a remote area of Alaska, I met an old mountain man, wise in the ways one need be to live in an extreme wilderness area like he did. I asked him about the weater, did it rain a lot? He said; "See those mountains over there" and he pointed to them." I replied, "Yes." "Well," he replied, ".. if you can't see those mountains, that means it's raining. If you can see them, that means it's going to rain."
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Chuck Norris can wipe rainwater from inside his car.
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Chuck Norris can strike the same lightning twice.
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It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
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Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.
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There is a 3 story apartment building with 1 apartment on each floor. A white family lives on the top floor. A mexican family lives on the second floor. A nigger family lives on the botom floor. At 2:00 PM in the afternoon a terrrible tornado hits the building, totally destroying it. Which family lived? The White family, because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.
Vote: has 60.65 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, racist, school, weather