The best weather jokes

A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"

A woman called the Colorado State Division of Wildlife regarding a snake in her backyard. "Can you tell me what kind it is?" she asked. "Can you describe it?" I asked. "Yes," she said. "It's long and thin."

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: “Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing. ” Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: “Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class.”

Chuck Norris is so awesome, he can dodge rain.

Q: Why do hurricanes travel so fast? A: Because if they travelled slowly, we'd have to call them slow-i-canes.

Hurricanes are really just Chuck Norris breathing into the rain.

There is no such things as a tornado. Just Chuck Norris proving that ballet ain't that hard.

Chuck Norris can create tornados by running around in circles.

Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.

Global warming is caused by transient energy leftover from Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.