The best weather jokes

That tornado damage your cow barn any? Dunno. Haven't found the durn thing yet.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, weather
Yo' mama so stupid, she thought the Blizzard of '96 was a new item at Dairy Queen!
Vote: has 59.80 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: stupid, weather, Yo mama
Q: Why does California have so many destructive earthquakes and Alabama has black people? A: California got first pick.
Vote: has 59.75 % from 154 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, weather
Chuck Norris has sneezing allergies in the mid-to-late fall. This time is typically referred to as hurricane season.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time, weather
Chuck Norris can paint the rainbow... with black.
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
The climate requires Chuck's permission to change.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, love, weather
A guy buys his first motorcycle. The dealer tells him to keep a jar of Vaseline handy to rub on the chrome before it rains to prevent rusting. A few months later, the young man's girlfriend invites him to dinner at her parents' house. Before they go in, she explains their family tradition that whomever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes. After dinner, everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break. After 15 minutes, the young man decides to speed things up. He leans over and kisses his woman in front of her family. No one says a word. Emboldened, he throws her on the table and has sex with her. Silence. Desperate, he grabs her mother and has sex with her on the table. Suddenly, they hear thunder rumble in the distance. The guy thinks of his bike and, instinctively, pulls the jar of Vaseline out of his pocket. "OK, OK," says the father, "I'll do the dishes!"
Vote: has 56.26 % from 178 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, family, marriage, sex, weather
McNally was taking his first plane ride, flying over the Rocky Mountains. The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing gum. "It’s to keep your ears from popping at high altitudes," she explains. When the plane landed McNally rushed up to her. "Miss," he said, "I’m meetin’ me wife right away. How do I get the gum out of me ears?" Kelly was standing in front of Cohan’s Tavern when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down the street. He ran to the car, jumped in, and pulled on the emergency brake with a jerk. Kelly got out and very proudly said to the man approaching him, "I stopped it!" "I know, you idiot!" said the man. "I was pushing it!"
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, life, weather, wife
While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather, to how things used to be in the “good old days.” Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked, “Roy, aren’t you and your bride celebrating your fiftieth wedding anniversary soon?” “Yup, we sure are,” Roy replied. “Well, are you gonna do anything special to celebrate?” another man asked. The old gentleman pondered this for a moment, then replied, “For our twenty-fifth anniversary, I took Bea to Tucson. Maybe for our fiftieth, I’ll go down there and get her.”
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: anniversary, food, old people, weather