The best weed jokes

Q: If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving? A: The cop!
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has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, driving, weed
Q: What did the Nickelback fan say to the other Nickelback fan when they ran out of weed? A: Man, this music sucks.
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has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: music, weed
Smoke a smoke Not a butt Fuck a virgin Not a slut.
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has 57.76 % from 136 votes. More jokes about: poems, sex, vulgar, weed
A little lizard was walking through the forest to see his pal the monkey. The monkey call out hey little buddy come up here I got some great pot. So the little lizard climbed up the tree. The little lizard and the monkey smoked a great big joint. The little lizard said hey this stuff is great but I have horrible cottonmouth. Well there is a river just down there. So the little lizard walk down the tree through the brush and started to drink the water. All of a sudden a crocodile came out of the water. Hey little buddy waz up said the croc, "I just got stoned with my pal the monkey." "Really" said the croc, "where is he I want some." He is through the brush and up the tree. So the croc walked through the brush and to the tree. The monkey said "holy shit how much did you drink little buddy."
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has 57.73 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, weed
Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common? A: They are both baked chickens.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, weed
If the sea was weed and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't weed and i'm not a duck so pass me the bong and shut the fuck up
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has 56.13 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: dirty, drug, duck, weed
I still don't understand why smoking weed makes you a criminal... When I smoke it the only thing I a threat to is cake.
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has 55.19 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: food, weed
Q: What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale? A: Mr. President.
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has 53.62 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: drug, political, weed
Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
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has 53.07 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: dad, fart, kids, weed
How do you suffocate a nigger? Tell him there's weed inside the pillowcase.
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has 45.28 % from 206 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist, weed
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