You can't buy happiness but you can buy weed… and that's pretty close.
Smoke a smoke Not a butt Fuck a virgin Not a slut.
Q: If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving? A: The cop!
Q: What did the Nickelback fan say to the other Nickelback fan when they ran out of weed? A: Man, this music sucks.
If the sea was weed and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't weed and i'm not a duck so pass me the bong and shut the fuck up
Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common? A: They are both baked chickens.
Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
I still don't understand why smoking weed makes you a criminal... When I smoke it the only thing I a threat to is cake.
Q: What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale? A: Mr. President.
How do you suffocate a nigger? Tell him there's weed inside the pillowcase.