Q: How do you know when you are stoned?
A: When you are too phoned to stone home.
Officer: "your eyes look red man have you been smoking weed."
Suspect: "officer your eyes look glazed like you has had doughnuts."
Q: What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed?
A: Han So-high
I wish my grades would smoke weed too so we could both get higher.
Q: If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving?
A: The cop!
Q: Why don't you see any pot heads in elementary school?
A: Because they're all in high school
Q: What did the Nickelback fan say to the other Nickelback fan when they ran out of weed?
A: Man, this music sucks.
Q: What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale?
A: Mr. President.
Your mama is so short when she tried to get high she couldn't.
Q: How do all stoner stories start?
A: This one time when I was high...