The best weed jokes

Q: What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed? A: Han So-high
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, weed
Q: How long does it take before a pound of weed goes bad? A: I don't know! I've never had it longer than an hour!
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: time, weed
Q: What do you call a stoner spilling his weed on the floor? A: Drug Abuse.
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: drug, weed
Q: What did the Nickelback fan say to the other Nickelback fan when they ran out of weed? A: Man, this music sucks.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: music, weed
Q: What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale? A: Mr. President.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: drug, political, weed
Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common? A: They are both baked chickens.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, weed
Q: Why don't you see any pot heads in elementary school? A: Because they're all in high school
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, weed
Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, fart, kids, weed
How do you suffocate a nigger? Tell him there's weed inside the pillowcase.
Vote: has 65.80 % from 92 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, racist, weed
There are three moms. A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde. They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed" They comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter's purse. I cannot believe she has one". So they all comfort her. Then the blonde says "That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse. I just cannot believe she has a penis"
Vote: has 64.72 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, ginger, sex, stupid, weed