Q: How long does it take before a pound of weed goes bad? A: I don't know! I've never had it longer than an hour!
Q: What did the Nickelback fan say to the other Nickelback fan when they ran out of weed? A: Man, this music sucks.
There are three moms. A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde. They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed" They comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter's purse. I cannot believe she has one". So they all comfort her. Then the blonde says "That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse. I just cannot believe she has a penis"
Q: How do all stoner stories start? A: This one time when I was high...
Q: How can you tell if you have smoked too much weed? A: You can't smoke too much weed.
Q: What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale? A: Mr. President.
Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common? A: They are both baked chickens.
Q: Why don't you see any pot heads in elementary school? A: Because they're all in high school
Your mama is so short when she tried to get high she couldn't.
I wish my grades would smoke weed too so we could both get higher.