Q: What do you call a stoner spilling his weed on the floor?
A: Drug Abuse.
Q: What did the Nickelback fan say to the other Nickelback fan when they ran out of weed?
A: Man, this music sucks.
Me: "I only smoke weed because of Cancer."
Mom: "You don't have Cancer!"
Me: "So it's working..."
Q: How do all stoner stories start?
A: This one time when I was high...
There are three moms.
A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde.
They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed.
I cannot believe she smokes weed"
They comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter's purse.
I cannot believe she has one". So they all comfort her.
Then the blonde says "That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse.
I just cannot believe she has a penis"
Q: How can you tell if you have smoked too much weed?
A: You can't smoke too much weed.
Q: What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale?
A: Mr. President.
Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common?
A: They are both baked chickens.
Q: Why don't you see any pot heads in elementary school?
A: Because they're all in high school
How do you suffocate a nigger?
Tell him there's weed inside the pillowcase.