The best jokes about women

A woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "There's no call for that. You go right up there and tell him off. Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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has 74.97 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, kids, women
A good looking woman walks into a bar wearing a tube top. She raises her hand to signal the bartender for a beer, revealing that she does not shave her armpits. Meanwhile, a sloppy drunk on the other side of the bar signals the bartender, "Buy that ballerina over there a drink on me." The bartender replies, "What makes you think she's a ballerina?" "Because," answers the drunken man, "any chick that can lift her leg that high has GOT to be a ballerina."
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has 74.97 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, beer, disgusting, women
I like my women how I like my laptop. Sat on my lap, turned on & completely virus free.
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has 74.94 % from 235 votes. More jokes about: computer, dirty, women
An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "Woman without her man is nothing." The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: college, men, teacher, women
Did you hear about the two females who were watching a blonde walk by? The first one said, "I wonder whether she's a natural blonde or a bleached blonde." Her friend said, "She's a suicide blonde." The other said, "Suicide blonde? What's that?" The friend said, "Dyed by her own hand!"
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has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, communication, death, women
Q. How are fat girls and mopeds alike? A. They are fun to ride but you don't want your friends to find out.
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has 74.71 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: fat, friendship, women
Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands. This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man. This confirms too, that women are always confused and don't know what they want.
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has 74.63 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men, single, women
A man met a wonderful woman and became engaged to her. He called his mother to share his good news with her. He arranged to have dinner with his mother that evening so that she could meet his fiancee. When he arrived at her home, he brought along three women - a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. His mother inquired as to why he had brought three women, instead of just one. He replied that he wanted to see if his mother would be able to guess which one of the women was her future daughter-in-law. She looked at each one carefully and then replied: "It's the redhead." "How could you possibly have figured that out so quickly?" he inquired. She coldly replied, "Because I can't stand her."
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has 74.63 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: family, life, mother in law, wedding, women
Pal: "My advice for your date is, make her think you're well travelled, girls love it!" Me: "Guess how many buses it took me to get here."
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has 74.54 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: dating, love, travel, women
Big girls don't cry... They eat.
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has 74.45 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: women
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