The best jokes about women

Q. How are fat girls and mopeds alike? A. They are fun to ride but you don't want your friends to find out.
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has 74.21 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: fat, friendship, women
A beautiful woman enters a bar and sits next to a lawyer. "Listen honey," she says, "For $50, I’ll do absolutely anything you want." The lawyer looks around, pulls fifty dollars from his wallet and says, "Paint my house."
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has 74.20 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: beauty, lawyer, money, women
She said "Gym or me". Sometimes I miss her.
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has 74.15 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: gym, women
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,"Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied,"Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly. "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: business, life, student, women
Girls are like an internet virus: they enter your life, scan your pockets, transfer money, edit your mind, download their problems and delete your smile...
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has 74.08 % from 154 votes. More jokes about: internet, money, women
A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?" The girl says, "I don’t like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn’t dance with you." The guy says, "I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants."
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has 74.05 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: bar, fat, music, women
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.
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has 73.89 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: women
A lady who was speeding had an officer pulled her to the side of the road.   She didn't have her seat belt on so as soon as she stopped, she quickly slipped it on before the officer got to her window. After talking to her about speeding, the officer said, "I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?" "Yes, I do, officer," she replied. "Well," asked the officer, "do you always do it up with it looped through your steering wheel?"
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has 73.89 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, women
Question: Why did God give men penises? Answer: So men would at least have one way to shut a woman up.
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has 73.87 % from 157 votes. More jokes about: god, women
Woman at a maternity hospital is in a lot of pain, moaning. The man strokes her back, "I'm so sorry sweetheart that you have to endure this..." "Don't worry Steve, it's not your fault."
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has 73.80 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: baby, couple, hospital, sex, women
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