The best jokes about women

Q: Why is life like a penis? A: Women make it hard!
Vote:
has 75.43 % from 408 votes. More jokes about: life, sex, women
Two programmers after work, talking in a pub: "You will never believe me when I tell you what happened to me yesterday. I met a very nice blonde in a bar." - And what did you do ? "I invited her to my place, we had some drinks and then the girl asked me to undress her." "Are you kidding me ? And what did you do then?" "I got her blouse and her dress off and then i got her to sit on my office, right next to my new laptop." "Oh, you got a new laptop. What model and what are its specifications?"
Vote:
has 75.39 % from 208 votes. More jokes about: bar, IT, office, programmer, women
Question: What’s the best thing about a blow job? Answer: Ten minutes of silence.
Vote:
has 75.34 % from 194 votes. More jokes about: sex, time, women
I like my women how I like my laptop. Sat on my lap, turned on & completely virus free.
Vote:
has 75.30 % from 243 votes. More jokes about: computer, dirty, women
An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar, so one night he took her along with him. "What'll you have?" he asked. "Oh, I don't know. The same as you I suppose," she replied. So, the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel's and threw his down in one shot. His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spat it out. "Yuck, that's TERRIBLE!" she spluttered. "I don't know how you can drink this stuff!" "Well, there you go," cried the husband. "And you think I'm out enjoying myself every night!"
Vote:
has 75.20 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: husband, wife, women
Scientists have finally discovered what is wrong with the female brain. On the left side, there is nothing right, and on the right side, there is nothing left.
Vote:
has 75.08 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: women
A man sits on a bus looking ashamed. The man next to him notices and asks what is wrong. He says that when he went to buy the bus ticket, the woman serving him had the most unbelievable breasts, so he got flustered and asked for two tickets to Tittsburgh instead of Pittsburgh. The man next to him laughs, "Don't worry about that. We all make Freudian slips. This morning I was having breakfast with my wife. I meant to say, 'Pass the salt,' but I accidently said, 'You f**king bitch, you ruined my life.'"
Vote:
has 75.03 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: life, men, wife, women
A man with a very small head walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why is your head so small?" He replies, "I was stuck on this island and there was nothing but beautiful women there who had never seen a man before. So I had sex with all of them. Their leader, who was the most beautiful of all, had the power to grant anybody one wish, so I asked her to have sex with me. She said she would grant me anything but that, so I said, "Would a little head be out of the question?"
Vote:
has 75.03 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: bartender, beauty, communication, sex, women
"Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn't drive, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned."
Vote:
has 75.02 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, beer, science, women
A man met a wonderful woman and became engaged to her. He called his mother to share his good news with her. He arranged to have dinner with his mother that evening so that she could meet his fiancee. When he arrived at her home, he brought along three women - a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. His mother inquired as to why he had brought three women, instead of just one. He replied that he wanted to see if his mother would be able to guess which one of the women was her future daughter-in-law. She looked at each one carefully and then replied: "It's the redhead." "How could you possibly have figured that out so quickly?" he inquired. She coldly replied, "Because I can't stand her."
Vote:
has 74.96 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: family, life, mother in law, wedding, women
<<<18192021
More jokes →
Page 18 of 65.