The best jokes about women

Q: What's the difference between a whore and a bitch? A: A whore fucks everybody and a bitch fucks everybody but you.
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has 75.23 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, vulgar, women
Q. How are fat girls and mopeds alike? A. They are fun to ride but you don't want your friends to find out.
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has 75.19 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: fat, friendship, women
I like my women how I like my laptop. Sat on my lap, turned on & completely virus free.
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has 75.04 % from 236 votes. More jokes about: computer, dirty, women
The wife's just said to me "Can you explain why I've just found another womans knickers in your coat pocket?" I said "Yes, I can explain. It's because you're a nosy ****!"
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has 74.94 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: wife, women
Pal: "My advice for your date is, make her think you're well travelled, girls love it!" Me: "Guess how many buses it took me to get here."
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has 74.89 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: dating, love, travel, women
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw an unusually beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat. Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?" She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Sexual Studies Convention in Chicago". He swallowed hard. Here was the gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting about sexual studies! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?" "Lecturer," she responded. "I use my extensive personal experience to share interesting facts about sexuality. "Really," he gulped,"like what?" "Well," she explained, "For instance, Native American Indians are the most passionate. While Jewish men are the most likely to satisfy a woman fully. And in terms of lasting the longest, surprisingly it's the Southern redneck." Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name." "Um, Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba."
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has 74.89 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: airplane, communication, redneck, sex, women
Big girls don't cry... They eat.
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has 74.83 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: women
I was drinking my coffee in a coffeehouse when a beautiful girl came near my table and asked me: "Are you alone?" So I responded: "It's a long time that I'm alone." "So do you mind me to take this chair?" said the girl. I fainted...
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has 74.80 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, relationship, single, women
"Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn't drive, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned."
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has 74.77 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, beer, science, women
A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment. They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician said "this is pointless" and stormed off. The engineer agreed to go ahead with the experiment anyway. The mathematician exclaimed on his way out "don't you see, you'll never actually reach her?". To which the engineer replied, "so what? Pretty soon I'll be close enough for all practical purposes!"
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has 74.69 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: math, science, time, women
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