The best jokes about women

A good looking woman walks into a bar wearing a tube top. She raises her hand to signal the bartender for a beer, revealing that she does not shave her armpits. Meanwhile, a sloppy drunk on the other side of the bar signals the bartender, "Buy that ballerina over there a drink on me." The bartender replies, "What makes you think she's a ballerina?" "Because," answers the drunken man, "any chick that can lift her leg that high has GOT to be a ballerina."
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has 73.64 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, beer, disgusting, women
What a woman says… This place is a mess! C’mon! You and I need to clean up! Your stuff is lying on the floor and You’ll have no clothes to wear if we don’t do laundry right now! What a man hears… blah blah blah blah blah C’MON! YOU AND I blah blah blah blah! blah blah blah blah ON THE FLOOR blah blah blah NO CLOTHES blah blah blah blah blah blah blah RIGHT NOW!
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has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, women
Bill Gates goes to purgatory. St. Peter says, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go". First, St. Peter shows Bill an image of Hell with beautiful women running on beaches. Then, St Peter shows Bill an image of Heaven with robed angels playing harps on clouds. Bill chooses Hell. About a week later, St. Peter checks in on Bill in Hell and finds him being whipped by demons. Bill says to St. Peter, "What happened to all the beautiful women and the beaches?" St. Peter replies, "That was just the screen saver."
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has 73.42 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, heaven, women
If the Earth turned 30 times faster, we would get salary every day, but women would bleed to death...
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has 73.41 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: death, time, women
A girl goes to a library. Girl: I want the book, "Women- The most perfect and intelligent." . . . . Librarian: Comic section is at the backside.
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has 73.22 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: Why is a woman's pussy like a warm toilet seat? A: They both feel good, but you wonder who was there before you.
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has 73.07 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: dirty, women
A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunk." Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."
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has 72.87 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, mean, party, ugly, women
Q: Why do female skydivers wear jock straps? A: So they don't whistle on the way down.
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has 72.77 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: What was the first word out of Adam's mouth when he first saw Eve? A: Whoa man! Thus, the word "woman" was created.
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has 72.77 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: bible, communication, men, women
This woman was driving home in Northern Arizona, when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. She stopped the car and asked the woman if she'd like a ride. The woman thanked her and got in the car. After a few minutes, the Navajo woman noticed a brown bag on the back seat and asked the driver what was in the bag. The driver said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband." The Navajo woman thought for a moment, then said, "Good trade."
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has 72.77 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: driving, mean, time, wine, women
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