The best jokes about women

Everyone says the world would be better off if it was run by women. Sure, maybe there wouldn't be violence and territorial conquests fueled by male testosterone. But instead, we'd have a bunch of jealous countries that aren't talking to each other.
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has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: women
Son: "Mommy why doesn't Gandhi have hair?" Mom: "Because he never lies." Son: "Ohh now I see why ladies have long hair."
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has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: communication, insulting, kids, mean, women
GOD said, “Adam, I want you to do something for me.” “Gladly, Lord,” replied Adam. “What do you want me to do?” “Go down into the valley.” “What’s a valley?” asked Adam. God explained to him, then said, Cross the river.” “What’s a river?” God explained it to him, and then continued, “Go over the hill…”. “What’s a hill?” God explained to Adam what a hill was, then said, “On the other side of the hill, you will find a cave.” “What’s a cave?” After God explained, he said, “In the cave you will find a woman.” Adam asked, “What’s a woman?” So God explained that to him too. He continued, “I want you to reproduce.” “How do I do that?” “Jeez,” God muttered under his breath. He then sighed and explained the birds and the bees to Adam. He liked that concept very much, so he went down into the valley, across the river, over the hill and into the cave where he found a woman.” A little while later, Adam returned and asked God, “What’s a headache?”
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has 73.66 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: god, health, sex, women
Bill Gates goes to purgatory. St. Peter says, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go". First, St. Peter shows Bill an image of Hell with beautiful women running on beaches. Then, St Peter shows Bill an image of Heaven with robed angels playing harps on clouds. Bill chooses Hell. About a week later, St. Peter checks in on Bill in Hell and finds him being whipped by demons. Bill says to St. Peter, "What happened to all the beautiful women and the beaches?" St. Peter replies, "That was just the screen saver."
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has 73.63 % from 147 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, heaven, women
A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?" The girl says, "I don’t like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn’t dance with you." The guy says, "I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants."
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has 73.58 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: bar, fat, music, women
Q: How are women and tornadoes alike? A: They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they go.
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has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: mean, weather, women
What is the difference between girls aged:8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 and 68? At 8 – You take her to bed and tell her a story. At 18 – You tell her a story and take her to bed. At 28 – You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed. At 38 – She tells you a story and takes you to bed. At 48 – You tell her a story to avoid going to bed. At 58 – You stay in bed to avoid her story. At 68 – If you take her to bed, that’ll be a story!
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has 73.48 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: age, women
What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants a man to satisfy their every little need. A man wants all the women to satisfy their one and only little need.
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: men, women
What do the spice girls and a pack of M+Ms have in common? There are assorted colors, but they all taste the same.
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has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: food, music, women
What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boobies.
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has 73.30 % from 187 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, women
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