The best jokes about women

GOD said, “Adam, I want you to do something for me.” “Gladly, Lord,” replied Adam. “What do you want me to do?” “Go down into the valley.” “What’s a valley?” asked Adam. God explained to him, then said, Cross the river.” “What’s a river?” God explained it to him, and then continued, “Go over the hill…”. “What’s a hill?” God explained to Adam what a hill was, then said, “On the other side of the hill, you will find a cave.” “What’s a cave?” After God explained, he said, “In the cave you will find a woman.” Adam asked, “What’s a woman?” So God explained that to him too. He continued, “I want you to reproduce.” “How do I do that?” “Jeez,” God muttered under his breath. He then sighed and explained the birds and the bees to Adam. He liked that concept very much, so he went down into the valley, across the river, over the hill and into the cave where he found a woman.” A little while later, Adam returned and asked God, “What’s a headache?”
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has 73.59 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: god, health, sex, women
When can women make you a millionaire? When you're a billionaire.
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has 73.58 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: money, women
What a woman says… This place is a mess! C’mon! You and I need to clean up! Your stuff is lying on the floor and You’ll have no clothes to wear if we don’t do laundry right now! What a man hears… blah blah blah blah blah C’MON! YOU AND I blah blah blah blah! blah blah blah blah ON THE FLOOR blah blah blah NO CLOTHES blah blah blah blah blah blah blah RIGHT NOW!
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has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, women
Bill Gates goes to purgatory. St. Peter says, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go". First, St. Peter shows Bill an image of Hell with beautiful women running on beaches. Then, St Peter shows Bill an image of Heaven with robed angels playing harps on clouds. Bill chooses Hell. About a week later, St. Peter checks in on Bill in Hell and finds him being whipped by demons. Bill says to St. Peter, "What happened to all the beautiful women and the beaches?" St. Peter replies, "That was just the screen saver."
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has 73.42 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, heaven, women
If the Earth turned 30 times faster, we would get salary every day, but women would bleed to death...
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has 73.41 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: death, time, women
A good looking woman walks into a bar wearing a tube top. She raises her hand to signal the bartender for a beer, revealing that she does not shave her armpits. Meanwhile, a sloppy drunk on the other side of the bar signals the bartender, "Buy that ballerina over there a drink on me." The bartender replies, "What makes you think she's a ballerina?" "Because," answers the drunken man, "any chick that can lift her leg that high has GOT to be a ballerina."
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has 73.37 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, beer, disgusting, women
Q: Why is a woman's pussy like a warm toilet seat? A: They both feel good, but you wonder who was there before you.
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has 73.33 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: dirty, women
What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boobies.
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has 73.25 % from 199 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, women
A girl goes to a library. Girl: I want the book, "Women- The most perfect and intelligent." . . . . Librarian: Comic section is at the backside.
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has 73.22 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised? A: Because blonde men are dumb too.
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has 73.22 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: blonde, men, sex, stupid, women
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