GOD said, Adam, I want you to do something for me.
Gladly, Lord, replied Adam.
What do you want me to do?
Go down into the valley.
Whats a valley? asked Adam.
God explained to him, then said, Cross the river.
Whats a river?
God explained it to him, and then continued, Go over the hill
.
Whats a hill?
God explained to Adam what a hill was, then said, On the other side of the hill, you will find a cave.
Whats a cave?
After God explained, he said, In the cave you will find a woman.
Adam asked, Whats a woman?
So God explained that to him too. He continued, I want you to reproduce.
How do I do that?
Jeez, God muttered under his breath. He then sighed and explained the birds and the bees to Adam. He
liked that concept very much, so he went down into the valley, across the river, over the hill and into the
cave where he found a woman.
A little while later, Adam returned and asked God, Whats a headache?
When can women make you a millionaire?
When you're a billionaire.
What a woman says…
This place is a mess! C’mon!
You and I need to clean up!
Your stuff is lying on the floor and
You’ll have no clothes to wear if we
don’t do laundry right now!
What a man hears…
blah blah blah blah blah C’MON!
YOU AND I blah blah blah blah!
blah blah blah blah ON THE FLOOR blah
blah blah NO CLOTHES blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah RIGHT NOW!
Bill Gates goes to purgatory.
St. Peter says, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things.
Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go".
First, St. Peter shows Bill an image of Hell with beautiful women running on beaches.
Then, St Peter shows Bill an image of Heaven with robed angels playing harps on clouds.
Bill chooses Hell.
About a week later, St. Peter checks in on Bill in Hell and finds him being whipped by demons.
Bill says to St. Peter, "What happened to all the beautiful women and the beaches?"
St. Peter replies, "That was just the screen saver."
Vote:
If the Earth turned 30 times faster, we would get salary every day, but women would bleed to death...
A good looking woman walks into a bar wearing a tube top.
She raises her hand to signal the bartender for a beer, revealing that she does not shave her armpits.
Meanwhile, a sloppy drunk on the other side of the bar signals the bartender, "Buy that ballerina over there a drink on me."
The bartender replies, "What makes you think she's a ballerina?"
"Because," answers the drunken man, "any chick that can lift her leg that high has GOT to be a ballerina."
Q: Why is a woman's pussy like a warm toilet seat?
A: They both feel good, but you wonder who was there before you.
What kind of bees make milk instead of honey?
Boobies.
A girl goes to a library.
Girl: I want the book, "Women- The most perfect and intelligent."
.
.
.
.
Librarian: Comic section is at the backside.
Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised?
A: Because blonde men are dumb too.