The best jokes about women

A lady who was speeding had an officer pulled her to the side of the road.   She didn't have her seat belt on so as soon as she stopped, she quickly slipped it on before the officer got to her window. After talking to her about speeding, the officer said, "I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?" "Yes, I do, officer," she replied. "Well," asked the officer, "do you always do it up with it looped through your steering wheel?"
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has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, women
Q. How are fat girls and mopeds alike? A. They are fun to ride but you don't want your friends to find out.
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has 74.20 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: fat, friendship, women
Why do women love Hunters the best as lovers? 1. Hunters have the longest and most powerful rifles. 2. Hunters always....shoot twice. 3. Hunters love to...eat what they shoot!
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has 74.20 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: hunting, love, women
A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment. They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician said "this is pointless" and stormed off. The engineer agreed to go ahead with the experiment anyway. The mathematician exclaimed on his way out "don't you see, you'll never actually reach her?". To which the engineer replied, "so what? Pretty soon I'll be close enough for all practical purposes!"
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has 74.16 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: math, science, time, women
A man sits on a bus looking ashamed. The man next to him notices and asks what is wrong. He says that when he went to buy the bus ticket, the woman serving him had the most unbelievable breasts, so he got flustered and asked for two tickets to Tittsburgh instead of Pittsburgh. The man next to him laughs, "Don't worry about that. We all make Freudian slips. This morning I was having breakfast with my wife. I meant to say, 'Pass the salt,' but I accidently said, 'You f**king bitch, you ruined my life.'"
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has 74.08 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: life, men, wife, women
She said "Gym or me". Sometimes I miss her.
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has 73.75 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: gym, women
"If women ruled the world," said my wife, "there'd be no wars."  "That's true," I replied. "Wars require strategy and logic."
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has 73.74 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: war, wife, women
What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boobies.
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has 73.74 % from 186 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, women
Son: "Mommy why doesn't Gandhi have hair?" Mom: "Because he never lies." Son: "Ohh now I see why ladies have long hair."
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has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: communication, insulting, kids, mean, women
Everyone says the world would be better off if it was run by women. Sure, maybe there wouldn't be violence and territorial conquests fueled by male testosterone. But instead, we'd have a bunch of jealous countries that aren't talking to each other.
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has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: women
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