What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants a man to satisfy their every little need.
A man wants all the women to satisfy their one and only little need.
The Queen of England was showing the Archbishop of Canterbury around the Royal Stables when one of the stallions close by farted so loudly it couldn’t be ignored.
"Oh dear," said the Queen, "How embarrassing. I’m frightfully sorry about that."
"It’s quite understandable," said the archbishop, and after a moment added, "as a matter of fact I thought it was the horse."
Question: Why did God give men penises?
Answer: So men would at least have one way to shut a woman up.
Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised?
A: Because blonde men are dumb too.
Girls are like an internet virus:
they enter your life, scan your pockets, transfer money, edit your mind, download their problems and delete your smile...
Could you imagine if God turns out to be a woman ?
Not only am I going to hell, but I will never know why.
Trafic policeman: "Didn't you hear my whistle, madam?"
Woman driver: "Yes, but I don't like flirting while I'm driving."
Why do women love Hunters the best as lovers?
1. Hunters have the longest and most powerful rifles.
2. Hunters always....shoot twice.
3. Hunters love to...eat what they shoot!
A woman walks into her doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I need to lose weight fast."
And the doctor says, "Instead of putting food in your mouth, try putting it up your butt."
Two months later she comes in and says, "Doctor, it's a dream come true. I'm half the size I was."
But the doctor notices that she is bouncing up and down up and down... and he asks, "But where did you get this twitch?"
The woman replies, "I don't have a nervous twitch, I'm chewing bubble gum."
Vote:
Q: Why did the girl spread peanut butter on the road?
A: To go with the traffic jam!