The best jokes about women

"It's a boy," I shouted, as tears began to roll down my cheeks. "I can't believe it, it really is a boy." That's when I swore never to return to Thailand.
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has 70.64 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: gay, geography, men, sex, women
They were three men discussing how to make their wives to tell them if they cheated on them. The first guy says: "I go home after work at night, lie on the couch, turn on the television and ask: 'Woman you cheated on me today!' 'Who, me my husband? Could I ever do such a thing?' Pissed off as I am, I get up, put her down, punch her and in the end she can’t take it anymore and admits: 'I cheated on you with Nick…'" The secong guy says: "I do exactly the same thing. I punch her and finally she says: 'I cheated on you with Jake…'" The third guy says: "I have no problem at all. I go home, undress, put the sweat pants on, light my cigarette on, I go out to the balcony, see the neighbor spreading clothes and shout at her: 'Mary! You are a whore!' And then she starts saying: 'I’m a whore? Or your wife who sleeps with John, Mark, Peter…!'"
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has 70.55 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, war, women
A woman is very overweight and goes to see a weight therapist. The woman asks for some good advices. The therapist answers like this: "Well you just need to turn your head to the right and to the left when someone asks you if you want to eat at McDonalds."
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: communication, doctor, fat, food, women
I like my women like my morning coffee, falling off the roof of my car as I peel out of a gas station parking lot.
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: car, mean, women
Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"
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has 70.35 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: flirt, mean, men, women
A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
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has 70.28 % from 156 votes. More jokes about: medical, men, money, sex, women
A woman went to a doctor and said , doctor, I have a problem. Every time I sneeze I have an orgasm. The doctor said, oh really, what have you been doing for it. The woman replied, snorting pepper.
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: women
Maths and Girls are the most complicated things, but Maths at least has some logic.
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has 69.90 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: math, women
A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up. Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, turns to the waiter and demands "Stop That!" The waiter looks at her dryly and says "Sure lady, which way was it headed?"
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has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: women
Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women? He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
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has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: women
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