The best jokes about women

The Queen of England was showing the Archbishop of Canterbury around the Royal Stables when one of the stallions close by farted so loudly it couldn’t be ignored. "Oh dear," said the Queen, "How embarrassing. I’m frightfully sorry about that." "It’s quite understandable," said the archbishop, and after a moment added, "as a matter of fact I thought it was the horse."
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has 70.83 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: women
One day a young teen was in a church for the first time and he got a seat net to a not-so-good-looking woman. The pastor was preaching and he said: "Tell your neighbour how beautiful they are" and the boy stood up and said pastor "How can you expect me to lie in a church?"
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has 70.75 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: beauty, church, teen, women
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You liar! You've been playing golf!"
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has 70.51 % from 893 votes. More jokes about: golf, marriage, time, wife, women
Q: What do women and airplanes have in common? A: They both have a cockpit.
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has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: airplane, dirty, women
A very caring sentence written on the T-Shirt of a girl walking on the road. "You are not looking at the road right now, please be careful."
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: women
"It's a boy," I shouted, as tears began to roll down my cheeks. "I can't believe it, it really is a boy." That's when I swore never to return to Thailand.
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has 70.33 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: gay, geography, men, sex, women
Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!" "Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive." "I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?" "Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are." "I’ve also heard that you’re saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!" "Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
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has 70.21 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: fat, husband, sex, ugly, women
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: men, women
Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: women
Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?" Girl: "Do Not Enter!"
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has 69.96 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: flirt, mean, men, women
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