The best jokes about women

Trafic policeman: "Didn't you hear my whistle, madam?" Woman driver: "Yes, but I don't like flirting while I'm driving."
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has 70.78 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, flirt, women
One day a young teen was in a church for the first time and he got a seat net to a not-so-good-looking woman. The pastor was preaching and he said: "Tell your neighbour how beautiful they are" and the boy stood up and said pastor "How can you expect me to lie in a church?"
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has 70.75 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: beauty, church, teen, women
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
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has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: men, women
Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!" Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room..."
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has 70.55 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, mean, men, women
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You liar! You've been playing golf!"
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has 70.54 % from 894 votes. More jokes about: golf, marriage, time, wife, women
Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!" "Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive." "I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?" "Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are." "I’ve also heard that you’re saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!" "Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
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has 70.45 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: fat, husband, sex, ugly, women
A very caring sentence written on the T-Shirt of a girl walking on the road. "You are not looking at the road right now, please be careful."
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: women
Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage? Because they are tired of using their own.
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men, women
"It's a boy," I shouted, as tears began to roll down my cheeks. "I can't believe it, it really is a boy." That's when I swore never to return to Thailand.
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has 70.17 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: gay, geography, men, sex, women
Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: women
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