The best jokes about women

One day a young teen was in a church for the first time and he got a seat net to a not-so-good-looking woman. The pastor was preaching and he said: "Tell your neighbour how beautiful they are" and the boy stood up and said pastor "How can you expect me to lie in a church?"
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has 69.99 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: beauty, church, teen, women
A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up. Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, turns to the waiter and demands "Stop That!" The waiter looks at her dryly and says "Sure lady, which way was it headed?"
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has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: women
Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women? He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
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has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: women
The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly." On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?" "Yes", the boy's mother answered. "And how is your son now?" the psychiatrist asked. "Who cares?" the mother replied.
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has 69.85 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: women
Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"
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has 69.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: flirt, mean, men, women
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted excitedly, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!" The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said, "Just get out."
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has 69.71 % from 717 votes. More jokes about: car, god, marriage, money, women
A woman went to a doctor and said , doctor, I have a problem. Every time I sneeze I have an orgasm. The doctor said, oh really, what have you been doing for it. The woman replied, snorting pepper.
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: women
3 things which change women: 1) I love U 2) I liquidated to your account 3) U have lost weight The last one had been some fatalities!
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has 69.32 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: fat, life, love, money, women
A drunk sitting at a bar observes a very snobby woman participating in a wine tasting contest. She was very good at identifying the wine. At the first taste she says: "Cabernet Sauvignon, 1998" and all the people were amazed. At the 2nd try she answers "Cabernet Sauvignon, 1953" and they were once again amazed. Then the drunk pisses in a glass and hands it to her. She tries it and says "Yak, this tastes like piss!" And the drunk says, "Yeah, but what year was I born?"
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has 69.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, disgusting, drunk, wine, women
Son: "Mommy why doesn't Gandhi have hair?" Mom: "Because he never lies." Son: "Ohh now I see why ladies have long hair."
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has 69.30 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: communication, insulting, kids, mean, women
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