The best jokes about women

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly, she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back. "Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap ......... and stay for breakfast. The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed!! Everything had been SO incredible!!!! "You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?". "No," she replies, "You just happened to catch my eye."
Vote: has 67.11 % from 89 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: ginger, life, money, women
Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women? He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
Vote: has 66.64 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
A blonde and a redhead are taken hostage by terrorists. The women are taken to a remote island and put before a firing squad. Just before the squad fires, the redhead points and yells, "Tornado!" The terrorists run in all different directions, and the redhead escapes. When they realize what has happened, the terrorists come back to where the blonde is still standing. They raise their rifles, and thinking quickly, the blonde points and yells, "Fire!
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, terrorist, women
Women are just like fine wine. I only like the white ones.
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, white people, wine, women
Phil, a smart and handsome young man, dressed in the latest fashion, walked into this local pub. He noticed a woman gazing at him without blinking her big eyes. Phil felt flattered so he walked up to the woman and said in his deepest voice, "I'll do anything you wish, beautiful lady, for just £10 but on one condition." "The woman appeared to be trapped in the moment and asked as if in a trance,'What's your condition?" Phil answered, "Tell me your wish in just three words." There was a long pause, the woman opened her purse, counted out the money and handed it to the man along with her address. She then looked deeply into his eyes and whispered, "Clean my house."
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, communication, money, women
Q: Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist? A: Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you? Answer: Shorten the chain.
Vote: has 66.38 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, sport, wife, women
Womens are like computer virus... they ENTER your life... SEARCH your pocket... SHIFT your balance ... CONTROL your life... when you become an old version DELET you from the system
Vote: has 65.91 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, IT, life, money, women
Should women have children after 35? "No, 35 children are enough!"
Vote: has 65.70 % from 395 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, kids, women
*Girl is crying* Dad: Why you crying? Girl: My boyfriend dumped me! Dad: (Grabs shot gun) I'll be back.. A while later dad comes back Girl: What the hell! why did you go kill him! Dad: I didn't Girl: Where did you go? Dad: To get you icecream :D Girl: Why the hell did you bring the shot gun?! Dad: So I could get it for free!
Vote: has 65.53 % from 78 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, food, women