The best jokes about women

A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunk." Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."
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has 72.66 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, mean, party, ugly, women
A very fat woman comes into a store and tells the clerk, "I would like to see a bikini that fits me." Clerk, "me too..."
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has 72.54 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: women
Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you? Girlfriend: It’s sufficient for me but how will you survive?
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has 72.40 % from 540 votes. More jokes about: relationship, women
Teacher: "Ramu, you talk a lot !" Ramu: "It's a family tradition". Teacher: "What do you mean?" Ramu: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher". Teacher: "What about your mother?" Ramu: "She's a woman".
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has 72.37 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: family, school, teacher, women
The honeymoon couple left the wedding reception and hailed a cab to take them to their romantic boutique hotel in the hills. The driver wasn’t too sure how to get there, so he told the couple he would ask directions when they got closer to their destination. Meanwhile, the lovers couldn’t wait to get busy, so they got down to business in the back seat. During the couple’s moment of passion, the cabdriver noticed a fork in the road, and said, "I take the next turn, right?" "Screw NO, get your own woman," said the groom, "this one’s all mine!"
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has 72.35 % from 303 votes. More jokes about: driving, romantic, sex, wedding, women
Question: Why did God give men penises? Answer: So men would at least have one way to shut a woman up.
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has 72.16 % from 175 votes. More jokes about: god, women
Q: What was the first word out of Adam's mouth when he first saw Eve? A: Whoa man! Thus, the word "woman" was created.
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: bible, communication, men, women
Girls are like an internet virus: they enter your life, scan your pockets, transfer money, edit your mind, download their problems and delete your smile...
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has 71.93 % from 205 votes. More jokes about: internet, money, women
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar, drinking, and discussing how stupid their wives were. The Englishman says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don’t even have a fridge to keep it in." The Scotsman agrees that she sounds pretty stupid, but says his wife is more stupid. "Just last week, she went out and spent $17,000 on a new car," he laments, "and she doesn’t even know how to drive!" The Irishman nods sagely, and agrees that these two woman sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. "Ah, it kills me every time I think of it," he chuckles, "my wife left to go on a trip to Greece. I watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there and she doesn’t even have a dick!"
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has 71.86 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: bar, money, stupid, wife, women
The Queen of England was showing the Archbishop of Canterbury around the Royal Stables when one of the stallions close by farted so loudly it couldn’t be ignored. "Oh dear," said the Queen, "How embarrassing. I’m frightfully sorry about that." "It’s quite understandable," said the archbishop, and after a moment added, "as a matter of fact I thought it was the horse."
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has 71.74 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: women
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