The best jokes about women

On Sunday little Johnny with his dad went for bathing. The ground was slippery. So poor boy for avoiding of knocking down grabbed his father's penis. His father smiled and told him: "Oh boy you are lucky. If you were with your mother you were concussion!"
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More jokes about: dad, dirty, health, little Johnny, women
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life, men, women
The patient’s family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say. "Things don’t look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves." "Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives. "For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000." Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood. A few actually smirked. But the patient’s daughter was unsatisfied and asked, "Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?" "A standard pricing practice," said the head of the team. "Women’s brains have to be marked down because they have actually been used."
Vote: has 72.04 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, family, men, money, women
How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist? A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
Vote: has 72.04 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport, women
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"
Vote: has 71.64 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, car, life, prison, women
I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss. The woman there smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and said I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "Has your plane arrived yet?"
Vote: has 71.63 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, life, women
Q: Why did God invent yeast infection? A: So women know what it feels like to live with an annoying c*nt.
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More jokes about: women
Bill Gates goes to purgatory. St. Peter says, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go". First, St. Peter shows Bill an image of Hell with beautiful women running on beaches. Then, St Peter shows Bill an image of Heaven with robed angels playing harps on clouds. Bill chooses Hell. About a week later, St. Peter checks in on Bill in Hell and finds him being whipped by demons. Bill says to St. Peter, "What happened to all the beautiful women and the beaches?" St. Peter replies, "That was just the screen saver."
Vote: has 71.58 % from 124 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, black humor, heaven, women
Maths and Girls are the most complicated things, but Maths at least has some logic.
Vote: has 71.56 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math, women
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women