Q: Why do female skydivers wear jock straps?
A: So they don't whistle on the way down.
A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunk."
Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."
We're watching Shrek as a family and at the moment when Fiona turned from a woman into an ogre, my 2yo pointed to the TV and said "now she's a mom."
A very fat woman comes into a store and tells the clerk,
"I would like to see a bikini that fits me."
Clerk, "me too..."
Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you?
Girlfriend: It’s sufficient for me but how will you survive?
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Teacher: "Ramu, you talk a lot !"
Ramu: "It's a family tradition".
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Ramu: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher: "What about your mother?"
Ramu: "She's a woman".
The honeymoon couple left the wedding reception and hailed a cab to take them to their romantic boutique hotel in the hills.
The driver wasn’t too sure how to get there, so he told the couple he would ask directions when they got closer to their destination.
Meanwhile, the lovers couldn’t wait to get busy, so they got down to business in the back seat.
During the couple’s moment of passion, the cabdriver noticed a fork in the road, and said, "I take the next turn, right?"
"Screw NO, get your own woman," said the groom, "this one’s all mine!"
Question: Why did God give men penises?
Answer: So men would at least have one way to shut a woman up.
What do the spice girls and a pack of M+Ms have in common?
There are assorted colors, but they all taste the same.
Q: What was the first word out of Adam's mouth when he first saw Eve?
A: Whoa man! Thus, the word "woman" was created.
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