The best jokes about women

Phil, a smart and handsome young man, dressed in the latest fashion, walked into this local pub. He noticed a woman gazing at him without blinking her big eyes. Phil felt flattered so he walked up to the woman and said in his deepest voice, "I'll do anything you wish, beautiful lady, for just £10 but on one condition." "The woman appeared to be trapped in the moment and asked as if in a trance,'What's your condition?" Phil answered, "Tell me your wish in just three words." There was a long pause, the woman opened her purse, counted out the money and handed it to the man along with her address. She then looked deeply into his eyes and whispered, "Clean my house."
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has 68.60 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, money, women
Is Lady Gaga wonder woman because we all wonder if she's a woman?
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has 68.56 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, music, women
A very caring sentence written on the T-Shirt of a girl walking on the road. "You are not looking at the road right now, please be careful."
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has 68.56 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: women
I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer... but no one will do it.
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has 68.56 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: relationship, time, women
A sexy woman walks up to the counter and motions the bartender over. She starts to run her fingers through his hair and asks to speak to the manager. The Bartender replies, "Sorry, the manager is out. Can I help you?" By this time the woman has run her fingers over his face and in his mouth where the horny bartender is gently sucking on them. She says, "You sure he isn’t here?" The bartender mumbles through her fingers, "Yes, he’s out for another 2 hours. Are you sure there is nothing I can do to help?" The woman then says, "Oh, I only wanted to tell him there’s no toilet paper or soap in the ladies toilets!"
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has 68.56 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: women
The patient’s family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say. "Things don’t look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves." "Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives. "For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000." Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood. A few actually smirked. But the patient’s daughter was unsatisfied and asked, "Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?" "A standard pricing practice," said the head of the team. "Women’s brains have to be marked down because they have actually been used."
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has 68.38 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: age, family, men, money, women
Three boys are walking home from school and they see a naked woman. One of them runs away the other two stay to watch. The next day they are walking home from school and they see the naked woman again, and again the same boy runs away. Another day later they are walking home and they see the naked woman again, as the boy tries to run away the other boys grab him and ask, "What are you gay or something don't you like looking at naked women?" He replied, "Yeah, I love looking at naked women but my mom said that if I see one I'll turn into stone and I feel something starting to get hard."
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has 68.27 % from 177 votes. More jokes about: gay, kids, school, women
Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their sex lives. Karen said, "I call my husband the dentist because nobody can drill like he does." Joanne giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner, because of his incredible shaft." Kathy quietly sipped her whiskey until Joanne finally asked, "Well, what do you call your boyfriend?" Kathy frowned and said, "The postman." Looking puzzeled Joanne asked, "Why the postman?" "Because… he always delivers late and half the time it’s in the wrong box."
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has 68.26 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, husband, men, sex, women
Nothing beats a beautiful woman who can sing... except Chris Brown.
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has 68.15 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: beauty, celebrity, music, women
Q: Why do women have two holes so close together? A: In case you miss.
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has 68.04 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: sex, women
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