Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
A: Snowballs.
Kamasutra says:
If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one.
And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road.
A woman is driving down the same road.
As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!"
The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH!"
They each continue on their way, and ... as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road ... and dies immediately.
If only men would listen...
Two men work in a mortuary.
One says to another, "You should see that woman they brought in today.
She'd been in the water for a week.
Her clit was like a pickle."
"Ew!" says the other fellow.
"It was green?"
"No, it was sour!"
Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!"
Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room..."
The woman was in bed with her lover and had just told him how stupid her Irish husband was when the door was thrown open and there stood her husband.
He glared at her lover and bellowed, "What are you doing?"
"There," said the wife, "didn’t I tell you he was stupid?"
A Pontiac takes examinations for the driver’s licence for the fourth year in a row.
The examiner asks him "So, you’re running on the street. You have a mountain on your right and there’s a cliff on your left. There are two women in your way; the one young and the other an old woman. Which one are you going to hit?"
"Of course the old woman!"
The examinet frustrated "I told you last year! You hit the brakes!"
A woman is very overweight and goes to see a weight therapist.
The woman asks for some good advices.
The therapist answers like this: "Well you just need to turn your head to the right and to the left when someone asks you if you want to eat at McDonalds."
Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
This woman was driving home in Northern Arizona, when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
She stopped the car and asked the woman if she'd like a ride.
The woman thanked her and got in the car.
After a few minutes, the Navajo woman noticed a brown bag on the back seat and asked the driver what was in the bag.
The driver said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband."
The Navajo woman thought for a moment, then said, "Good trade."