The best jokes about women

A man and a woman are lying in bed, watching the ceiling and keep quiet. What are they thinking? The woman thinks, "He keeps quiet. He doesn’t want to talk. May be he’s get tired of me. He doesn’t love me anymore. He’s probably got someone else. I see. We’ll have to separate each other." The man thinks, "A fly. A fly on the ceiling. Wow! How keep it there and don’t fall?"
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has 68.29 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, men, women
What do women and condoms have in common? If they're not on your dick they're in your wallet.
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has 68.14 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: women
The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly." On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?" "Yes", the boy's mother answered. "And how is your son now?" the psychiatrist asked. "Who cares?" the mother replied.
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has 68.14 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: women
Three boys are walking home from school and they see a naked woman. One of them runs away the other two stay to watch. The next day they are walking home from school and they see the naked woman again, and again the same boy runs away. Another day later they are walking home and they see the naked woman again, as the boy tries to run away the other boys grab him and ask, "What are you gay or something don't you like looking at naked women?" He replied, "Yeah, I love looking at naked women but my mom said that if I see one I'll turn into stone and I feel something starting to get hard."
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has 68.14 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: gay, kids, school, women
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 95%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
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has 67.89 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: food, science, sex, wedding, women
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilized."
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has 67.89 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: food, men, sex, women
There was an ad in the newspaper: An agriculturist looks for a woman with a tractor. The photo of the tractor is required.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: car, men, women
Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, “Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!” “Dear God! Did you try to stop him?” “No,” she said, “I did better than that! I got the license plate number!”
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, god, women
A very caring sentence written on the T-Shirt of a girl walking on the road. "You are not looking at the road right now, please be careful."
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: women
There are a hundred holes in the body of a woman; one of them would be filled with a penis and 99 others could be filled with money.
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has 67.52 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, money, sex, women
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