The best jokes about women

Why are women like parking spaces? Because all the best ones are taken... and the rest are handicapped.
Vote: has 61.01 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
The proprietor of an adult store steps out to run a few errands and leaves his employee in charge. A woman comes in and wants to purchase a dildo. She looks at the shelf behind the register. "How much for the white one?" "$10." "How much for the black one?" "$20." She buys the white one. A little later , another woman comes in and also wants to buy a dildo. After asking the clerk for prices, she decides on the black one. A third lady comes in for a dildo. She checks the price of the white one , the black one and asks about the plaid one. She makes her purchase and leaves.The proprietor returns and asks how things went. "Great! I sold a white one, a black one, and I got thirty buck for your thermos!"
Vote: has 61.01 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, masturbation, money, women
I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer... but no one will do it.
Vote: has 61.01 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: relationship, time, women
1 woman and 9 men shipwreck on a deserted island. After one week, the woman, disgusted by the things she was doing, kills herself. After another week, the men, disgusted by the things they were doing, buried her. After another week, the men, more disgusted by the things they were doing, dug her up.
Vote: has 61.01 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, disgusting, women
Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their sex lives. Karen said, "I call my husband the dentist because nobody can drill like he does." Joanne giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner, because of his incredible shaft." Kathy quietly sipped her whiskey until Joanne finally asked, "Well, what do you call your boyfriend?" Kathy frowned and said, "The postman." Looking puzzeled Joanne asked, "Why the postman?" "Because… he always delivers late and half the time it’s in the wrong box."
Vote: has 60.85 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, husband, men, sex, women
Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other? A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
Vote: has 60.85 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, terrorist, women
I’m leaving you... You’re constantly sneering at my overweight... But honey, what about our kid? What kid? So you are not you pregnant?!
Vote: has 60.84 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, women
Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
Vote: has 60.75 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, men, military, women
Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives. The one guy said, “I’m a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional.” The second guy responded, “I’m a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids.” They then asked the woman, “What are you?” She replied: “I’m a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc.”
Vote: has 60.69 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
Three women are out clubbing and they spot a club that says, "Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The first floor has a sign on the door that reads, "All men here are short and plain." The women laugh and continue up to the second floor. The sign reads, "All men here are tall and plain." Still this isn't good enough, and the women proceed to the third floor. "All men here are short and handsome." The women still want more and go to the fourth floor, where the sign reads, "All men here are tall and handsome." This is perfect and the women are preparing to go in, when they realise that there is still one more floor. They go up one floor and read the sign. "There are no men here. This floor is built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women