The best jokes about women

On Sunday little Johnny with his dad went for bathing. The ground was slippery. So poor boy for avoiding of knocking down grabbed his father's penis. His father smiled and told him: "Oh boy you are lucky. If you were with your mother you were concussion!"
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has 63.58 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, health, little Johnny, women
A man is sitting in a bar when a beautiful woman walks up and whispers in his ear, “I'll do anything you want for 50 bucks.” He puts his drink down and starts going through his pockets. He pulls out a ten, two five's, a twenty and ten ones. He thrusts the wadded up money into the woman's hand and says, "Here...paint my house.”
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, money, women
Lady: Is this my train? Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company. Lady: Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi. Station Master: No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy.
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has 63.45 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: travel, women
A blonde and a redhead are taken hostage by terrorists. The women are taken to a remote island and put before a firing squad. Just before the squad fires, the redhead points and yells, "Tornado!" The terrorists run in all different directions, and the redhead escapes. When they realize what has happened, the terrorists come back to where the blonde is still standing. They raise their rifles, and thinking quickly, the blonde points and yells, "Fire!
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has 63.45 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: blonde, terrorist, women
How to Impress a Woman: compliment her, kiss her, caress her, love her, comfort her, protect her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, listen to her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her. How to Impress a Man: show up naked, bring beer.
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has 63.45 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: beer, love, men, romantic, women
Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you? Answer: Shorten the chain.
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has 63.45 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: black humor, sport, wife, women
There are a hundred holes in the body of a woman; one of them would be filled with a penis and 99 others could be filled with money.
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has 63.45 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, money, sex, women
Question: Why do men die before their wives? Answer: Because they want to.
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has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: death, men, wife, women
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women? Exchange him.
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: god, men, women
A woman walks into her doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I need to lose weight fast." And the doctor says, "Instead of putting food in your mouth, try putting it up your butt." Two months later she comes in and says, "Doctor, it's a dream come true. I'm half the size I was." But the doctor notices that she is bouncing up and down up and down... and he asks, "But where did you get this twitch?" The woman replies, "I don't have a nervous twitch, I'm chewing bubble gum."
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, food, women
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