The best jokes about women

This woman walks into a bar, and she has the hairiest armpits in the history of armpits. She sits down, raises her arm, and says, "Bartender, I would like a drink." There's an old drunk sitting next to her. Slurring, he says, "Barkeep, I would like to buy the ballerina a drink." She accepts, drinks it, raises her arm again to get the bartender's attention, and orders another. The old man says, "Barkeep, you just keep giving the ballerina anything she wants." Finally, the bartender goes over to the drunk and says, "Sir, that's nice of you, but how do you know she's a ballerina?" The old man answers, "Son, you don't get to be my age without learning that only ballerinas can lift their legs that high."
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: age, alcohol, bar, bartender, women
Q: Why do horny women order at Subway? A: Footlongs.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: women
A man is sitting in a bar when a beautiful woman walks up and whispers in his ear, “I'll do anything you want for 50 bucks.” He puts his drink down and starts going through his pockets. He pulls out a ten, two five's, a twenty and ten ones. He thrusts the wadded up money into the woman's hand and says, "Here...paint my house.”
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, money, women
A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help." One of the men immediately replies, "No, you see that's your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead."
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: golf, men, sport, winter, women
In the beginning, God created Earth and then rested. After that, He creaed man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man got ever rested.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: god, men, women
Did you ever notice: Everything on a woman's upper body starts with a "B". Blouse, Bra, Bikini, Boobs and lower body with a "P" Peticoat, panties, pussy... That's origin of "BP"!
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: communication, women
Men are born between the legs of women and spend all their life trying to get back between them. Why? Theres no place like home ...
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: life, men, women
A blonde and a redhead are taken hostage by terrorists. The women are taken to a remote island and put before a firing squad. Just before the squad fires, the redhead points and yells, "Tornado!" The terrorists run in all different directions, and the redhead escapes. When they realize what has happened, the terrorists come back to where the blonde is still standing. They raise their rifles, and thinking quickly, the blonde points and yells, "Fire!
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: blonde, terrorist, women
A nice lady in a short skirt walks up to a police man on the street and says, "I have a problem." The police man asked her what it is, she points to a man across the street and says, "See that man?" The police man replies, "Yes, is he watching you?" She replies, " NO!, that is the problem!"
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: cop, women
Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you? Answer: Shorten the chain.
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has 62.79 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: black humor, sport, wife, women
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