The best jokes about women

If pretty women from the south are southern bells, would that make pretty women from Mexico taco bells?
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has 65.34 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: beauty, mexican, racist, women
Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
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has 65.24 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: death, sex, wife, women
My ex-wife is so thick, that it is for me, when we meet sometimes, easier to jump her over than to go around her.
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has 65.14 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, mean, wife, women
Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.
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has 65.08 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, sex, women
Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? A: Snowballs.
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has 64.93 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, winter, women
"Does she have a boyfriend?" "Yes, a cute, strong and clever one." "What's the name?" "John, Michael and Bill."
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: relationship, women
Jim and Edna are both mental patients. One day Jim jumps into the swimming pool but, doesn't come up for air. Quick as a flash, Edna sees her friend in trouble, so dives in and pulls him out. Later, the hospital director calls Edna into his office and sayes "Edna, Ive got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, we are releasing you as you are obviously sane 'saving anothers life'. But unfortunately, the bad news is that Jim hanged himself in the bathroom ..." "Oh no' Edna replies, that's where I put him to dry !"
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: women
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," He responded. "Oh, killing any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell? He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, beer, men, phone, women
A road crew supervisor hired a nice-looking blonde woman to assist with painting the yellow line down the middle of the road. He was skeptical about hiring her, but she appeared enthusiastic and told him that she really needed the job. He explained to her that her work day would be to complete 2 miles of line on her road, and he set her up with her brushes and paint and got her started. After the first day, he was pleased to find that she did an excellent job and was able to paint 4 miles of road in her 8 hour shift. He told her that she did an excellent job and how pleased he was with her progress. On the second day, she completed painting 2 miles of road. Her supervisor was surprised that on day one she had completed twice as much work, but did not say anything, as 2 miles of road was the amount that the job required anyway. He decided to just accept it, and to look forward to the next day when he was sure she would pick up her speed again. On day 3 he was shocked to learn that in her 8 hour shift, she only completed painting 1 mile of road. He called her into his office and asked her what was the problem, “On your first day, you completed 4 miles of road, on your second day, 2 miles of road, and now on day 3, you were only able to complete 1 mile of road. Can I ask you, what is the problem?” “Well, she replied, I keep getting farther and farther from the paint can.”
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has 64.71 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: blonde, time, women, work
A haggard old lady rides in a fancy hotel's elevator. On the second floor, a beautiful woman steps on and arrogantly says to the old lady, "Georgio, $100 an ounce." On the next floor, an equally beautiful women steps on and says, "Chanel, $150 an ounce." The old lady's floor approaches and as the doors open, she bends over, farts and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound."
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has 64.37 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, fart, money, women
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