The best jokes about women

Three women are out clubbing and they spot a club that says, "Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The first floor has a sign on the door that reads, "All men here are short and plain." The women laugh and continue up to the second floor. The sign reads, "All men here are tall and plain." Still this isn't good enough, and the women proceed to the third floor. "All men here are short and handsome." The women still want more and go to the fourth floor, where the sign reads, "All men here are tall and handsome." This is perfect and the women are preparing to go in, when they realise that there is still one more floor. They go up one floor and read the sign. "There are no men here. This floor is built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: women
A man and woman were on their first date. The woman was trying to make conversation and said, "So I hear you hunt deer." The man looked away and turned red. "What's wrong?" asked the woman. "I'm not used to someone calling me dear on the first date," the man said.
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has 62.04 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: communication, dating, hunting, men, women
A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help." One of the men immediately replies, "No, you see that's your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead."
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has 61.96 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: golf, men, sport, winter, women
Q:What's the definition of mixed emotions? A:When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your brand new car.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: Why do women pierce their bellybutton? A: Place to hang their air freshener.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: women
My boss is in the process of filling an open manager position. I asked him to please hire a man because women are crazy. He agreed with me. I got upset that he agreed. I'm pretty sure I unintentionally proved my point.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: communication, management, mean, women, work
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
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has 61.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: communication, men, political, women
Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms? They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.
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has 61.48 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: sex, women
Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. "How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers. "It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied. "I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?" "No sir, our mother." "Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!" "I know, sir," replied the recruit, "But she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could."
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has 61.40 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: doctor, military, women
Q: What element is a girl's future best friend? A: Carbon.
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has 61.36 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, friendship, nerd, women
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