The best jokes about women

This woman walks into a bar, and she has the hairiest armpits in the history of armpits. She sits down, raises her arm, and says, "Bartender, I would like a drink." There's an old drunk sitting next to her. Slurring, he says, "Barkeep, I would like to buy the ballerina a drink." She accepts, drinks it, raises her arm again to get the bartender's attention, and orders another. The old man says, "Barkeep, you just keep giving the ballerina anything she wants." Finally, the bartender goes over to the drunk and says, "Sir, that's nice of you, but how do you know she's a ballerina?" The old man answers, "Son, you don't get to be my age without learning that only ballerinas can lift their legs that high."
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop? A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Vote: has 61.89 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, disgusting, women
Q: Why do some women look at blank paper? A: They like to read their rights.
Vote: has 61.71 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How did the medical community come up with the term "PMS"? A: "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: health, insulting, medical, women
How many Feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1) None. Feminists can't change anything. 2) Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to berate any men who offer to help.
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

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Is Lady Gaga wonder woman because we all wonder if she's a woman?
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More jokes about: celebrity, music, women
Q: What do you call a blonde chick standing on her head? A: A brunette.
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Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
Vote: has 61.59 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

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Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage? Because they are tired of using their own.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, men, women
A woman walks into her doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I need to lose weight fast." And the doctor says, "Instead of putting food in your mouth, try putting it up your butt." Two months later she comes in and says, "Doctor, it's a dream come true. I'm half the size I was." But the doctor notices that she is bouncing up and down up and down... and he asks, "But where did you get this twitch?" The woman replies, "I don't have a nervous twitch, I'm chewing bubble gum."
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, food, women