The best jokes about women

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
has 61.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: communication, men, political, women
Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. "How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers. "It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied. "I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?" "No sir, our mother." "Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!" "I know, sir," replied the recruit, "But she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could."
has 61.43 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: doctor, military, women
One attractive young businesswoman to another over lunch: "My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying."
has 61.40 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: business, life, math, time, women
Girl: "Girls are better than boys." Boy: "Then why did God make boys first?" Girl: "Duh, you have to have a rough draft before the final copy."
has 61.38 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: men, women
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.
has 61.38 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: dirty, women
Q: How do you wake up Lady gaga? A: Poke her face.
has 61.35 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: music, women
Q: What is height of Honesty? A: A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: women
A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon. That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst.
has 61.18 % from 224 votes. More jokes about: sex, women
A woman meets with her lover, who is also her husband's best friend. They make love for hours. Afterwards, as they lie in bed, the phone rings. Since it's the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation: "Hello? Oh, hi... I'm so glad that you called... Really? That's wonderful... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time... Oh, that sounds terrific... Love you, too. OK. Bye-bye." She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?" "Oh," she replies, "That was my husband telling me about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."
has 61.05 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: fish, husband, love, marriage, women
Q: Why don't women wear watches? A: There's a clock on the stove!
has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: time, women
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