The best jokes about women

Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because so many men fake foreplay.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, sex, women
Q: Do you know why women over fifty don't have babies? A: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
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More jokes about: age, baby, memory, women
A woman walks into a supermarket and buys: 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube of toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 single serving of cereal 1 single serving frozen dinner 1 can of Soup For One 1 16oz can of Miller Lite The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, "Single, are you?" The woman smiles sweetly and replies, "How did you guess?" He replies, “Because you’re ugly.”
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, women
Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day. They both met with an Angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven. The angel said "Unfortunately, there’s only one space in Heaven today so I must decide which one of you will be admitted." The Angel asked Dolly if there was some particular reason why she should go to Heaven. Dolly took off her top and said, "Look at these, they’re the most perfect breasts God ever created and I’m sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity." The Angel thanked Dolly, and asked Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the same question. The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever and flushes it without saying a word. The Angel immediately said, "OK, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven." Dolly was outraged and asked, "What was that all about? I showed you two of God’s own perfect creations and you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode and she got admitted to Heaven! Would you explain that to me?" "Sorry, Dolly," said the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair – no matter how big they are."
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, god, heaven, women
Q: Why do horny women order at Subway? A: Footlongs.
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Why are women like parking spaces? Because all the best ones are taken... and the rest are handicapped.
Vote: has 61.01 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What element is a girl's future best friend? A: Carbon.
Vote: has 60.85 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, friendship, nerd, women
Question: Why do men die before their wives? Answer: Because they want to.
Vote: has 60.69 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, men, wife, women
Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives. The one guy said, “I’m a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional.” The second guy responded, “I’m a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids.” They then asked the woman, “What are you?” She replied: “I’m a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc.”
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A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon. That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst.
Vote: has 60.58 % from 215 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, women