The best jokes about women

Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
Vote: has 56.92 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, sex, wife, women
Two women are digging in the garden. One pulls out a foot-long carrot. She says, "This one reminds me of my husband." The second woman says, "Your husband's is that long?" "No that dirty."
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
In the beginning, God created Earth and then rested. After that, He creaed man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man got ever rested.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, men, women
Q: What is height of Honesty? A: A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
A man came home from the bar with an unknown woman. He woke up in the morning and yelled, "A crocodile, a crocodile!" The woman woke up and asked, "Where, where?" A man cried again, "O-o-oh, the crocodile is talking!"
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bar, women
Q:What's the definition of mixed emotions? A:When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your brand new car.
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
Did you hear Richard Simmons had plastic surgery to get his love handles removed? Yeah... now he has no ears.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, love, women
Women are like parking spaces, normally all the good ones are taken. So, occasionally, when no one's looking, you have to stick it in a disabled one.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
You know who's mad at Kobe? Every other player in the NBA. You know why? Cause he messed around on his wife and bought her a $4 million ring. Yeah, you know what that means: that's the new minimum. Cause you know how women are, man. Women get upset: "Oh, really, what's this? A $1 million ring? What - did that bitch get my $3 million, too?"
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: mean, money, sport, women
Why is it called PMS? — Because “Mad Cow Disease” was already taken.
Vote: has 56.20 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women