The best jokes about women

When Adam asked Eve out for dinner she replied: "Oh I'd love to, but I haven't a thing to wear."
Vote: has 52.49 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, love, women
A man's wife asks him to go to the store to buy her cigarettes. He walks there only to find it closed. So, he goes into a nearby bar to use their vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and eventually end up in her apartment. After they've had some fun, he realizes it's 3 a.m. and says, "My wife's going to kill me. Do you have any talcum powder?" The woman gives him some talcum powder, which he rubs on his hands and then goes home. His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and screeches, "Where the hell have you been?!" "Well, honey, it's like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking chick there, we had a few drinks, one thing led to another, and I ended up in bed with her." "Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!" She sees his hands are covered with powder and says, "You liar! You went bowling again!"
Vote: has 52.46 % from 83 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, marriage, wife, women
Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, stupid, women
A girl visited her boyfriend, which was still living with his mother, at his house. His mother had Puritan principals. The mother, as long as the girl was there, didn’t even try to hide her dislike feelings for his son’s choice. "Mom, can I escort Helen?" The girl, waiting to hear a cold hearted "no", she surprised hears: "Sure... You can! Escort her... to the corner with your eyes!"
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
Q: Why dont black women wear panties to picknics? A: To keep the flies off the chicken
Vote: has 52.09 % from 80 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, women
Question: What do you call a woman with two brain cells? Answer: Pregnant.
Vote: has 51.86 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What do women, tornadoes and hurricanes have in common? A: They all get the house.
Vote: has 51.81 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, weather, women
Andrew went to Medical Insurance to apply for his pension. The woman behind the bench asked for his driving license to verify his age, but he had left his wallet home. He said to her that he had to go home and return later. The woman said: "Unbuckle your shirt." And so he did, revealing his curly, gray hair of his chest. "These gray hair is quite a nice proof for me," she said and continued with his application form. When Andrew went home, he said to his wife what had happened. "You should have taken your pants off," she said, "Maybe you would have taken disability pension too!"
Vote: has 51.70 % from 77 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, marriage, money, wife, women
Question: What do women and Slinkies have in common? Answer: Not really too much, but you can’t help but crack a smile when one tumbles down the stairs.
Vote: has 51.67 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
Companies are working on a camera which has such a fast shutter speed that it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut. Advance Booking open!
Vote: has 51.67 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, work