The best jokes about women

A man came home from the bar with an unknown woman. He woke up in the morning and yelled, "A crocodile, a crocodile!" The woman woke up and asked, "Where, where?" A man cried again, "O-o-oh, the crocodile is talking!"
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Q: Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow? A: So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor.
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More jokes about: animal, women
When Adam asked Eve out for dinner she replied: "Oh I'd love to, but I haven't a thing to wear."
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More jokes about: god, love, women
Question: Why do women have smaller feet than men? Answer: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Vote: has 50.96 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: women
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
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More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex, women
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. "Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!" The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" asked the instructor. "Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: golf, sport, time, women
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed-off and watched in horror as the ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She then explained that she was a physical therapist and offered to help ease his "pain." "Please allow me to help, I am a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd just allow me!" She told him earnestly. "ohh No, I'll be alright...I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch. The woman takes it upon herself to begin to "ease his pain". She began to massage his groin. After a few moments she asked, "does that feel better?" The man looked up at her and replied, "yes, that feels pretty good ... but my thumb still hurts like hell!"
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: golf, sport, women
Jennifer, wanna go to my place? I am not Jennifer But I didn't ask about that...
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More jokes about: men, women
You know who's mad at Kobe? Every other player in the NBA. You know why? Cause he messed around on his wife and bought her a $4 million ring. Yeah, you know what that means: that's the new minimum. Cause you know how women are, man. Women get upset: "Oh, really, what's this? A $1 million ring? What - did that bitch get my $3 million, too?"
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More jokes about: mean, money, sport, women
Question: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig? Answer: A woman that doesn’t do what she’s told.
Vote: has 50.64 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, women


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