The best jokes about women

I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.
Vote:
has 51.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: What do women, tornadoes and hurricanes have in common? A: They all get the house.
Vote:
has 51.37 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: marriage, weather, women
Why was the name "P.M.S." chosen ? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken...
Vote:
has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: women
Question: Why do women close their eyes during sex? Answer: They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.
Vote:
has 50.97 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: sex, time, women
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. 'What are you doing dear?' 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' 'How do you know what sex they were?' The man very confidently replied, "Easy - 3 were on the beer and 2 were on the phone."
Vote:
has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: beer, husband, old people, phone, women
Q: Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter? A: Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.
Vote:
has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: women
An old woman buys herself some bright red crotchless panties and goes home to surprise her husband. When her husband comes home, she calls him into the bedroom and points to her new panties. "Hey old timer," she says, "come and get some of this!" The old man says, "Hell no, woman. It done ate a hole in your drawers!"
Vote:
has 50.69 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, women
A woman walks into a supermarket and buys: 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube of toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 single serving of cereal 1 single serving frozen dinner 1 can of Soup For One 1 16oz can of Miller Lite The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, "Single, are you?" The woman smiles sweetly and replies, "How did you guess?" He replies, “Because you’re ugly.”
Vote:
has 50.64 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: food, women
Q: How did the medical community come up with the term "PMS"? A: "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
Vote:
has 50.61 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: health, insulting, medical, women
Miss DeAngelo was a not-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star. She didn’t find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms, and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case. When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward. "Miss DeAngelo, the wife of the defendant has identified you as the ‘other woman’ in her husband’s life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?" "Well, yes," acknowledged Miss DeAngelo with a sniff, "but I couldn’t help it." "Couldn’t help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "How’s that?" "Mr. Evans deceived me." "Exactly what do you mean?" "See, when we signed in," she explained, "he told the motel clerk I was his wife."
Vote:
has 50.61 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, divorce, marriage, wife, women
<<<46474849
More jokes →
Page 46 of 65.