Lisa needs brain surgery and figures its easier to buy a new brain.
She asks the doctor what he has on sale.
"Well you're in luck I have two in stock, a man's brain for $1000, and a woman's for $100."
Surprised she asks why the price difference?
"Generally women brains run cheaper because they come to us used!"
Jennifer, wanna go to my place?
I am not Jennifer
But I didn't ask about that...
A girl visited her boyfriend, which was still living with his mother, at his house.
His mother had Puritan principals.
The mother, as long as the girl was there, didn’t even try to hide her dislike feelings for his son’s choice.
"Mom, can I escort Helen?"
The girl, waiting to hear a cold hearted "no", she surprised hears: "Sure... You can! Escort her... to the corner with your eyes!"
Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.
I was hiking once with my girlfriend.
Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad.
We must have come close to her cubs.
Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me.
One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took.
I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
Question: What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
Answer: Pregnant.
Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
Companies are working on a camera which has such a fast shutter speed that it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut. Advance Booking open!
Q: What do you call a women who does as much work as a man?
A: A lazy b*tch.