The best jokes about women

Doctor: "Tell your wife not to worry about the slight deafness. It is only an indication of old age." Husband: "Doctor, would you yourself please tell this to her?"
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: age, husband, wife, women
Nothing beats a woman with a beautiful singing voice. Except for Chris Brown.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: beauty, celebrity, life, music, women
Why was he woman arrested on a cattle ranch for wearing a silk dress? She was charged with rustling!
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: women
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
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has 54.44 % from 201 votes. More jokes about: marriage, math, men, wedding, women
Lady goes to her doc. "Doc, I have quite the problem. I can't control my gas. All day long I'm farting and farting. The only good news is they are the 'silent but deadly' type. The Doc pauses for a moment and replies, "first let's get you fitted for a hearing aid."
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: women
I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
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has 54.06 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, travel, women
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
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has 53.88 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life, men, women
The matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her. “I’m ashamed to bring this up,” he said, “but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants, he says, a sample.” The woman was shocked. “Such a thing you ask a Christian virtuous woman? Such a crude person would suggest such a thing? He must be a barnyard animal, not a gentleman.” The matchmaker, trying to earn a fee, said, “He’s a pragmatic, man. After all, to him it’s not a big deal… just a sample.” She thought a minute. “A pragmatic man, is he? So tell him I don’t give samples. I can give him 50 or 60 references, if he wants, though.
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has 53.69 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: animal, christian, dirty, husband, women
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A. A widow.
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has 53.57 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: husband, men, women
Q: How do you fix a woman’s watch? A: You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.
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has 53.35 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: time, women
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