Question: What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
Answer: Pregnant.
Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
Q: How did the medical community come up with the term "PMS"?
A: "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history.
At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
Vote:
Q: Who was the best business woman in the Bible?
A: Pharoah's daughter – she drew a profit from the rush at the bank.
A woman goes to a doctor, doctor, I'm tired of life, want to finish my life, what is best to kill myself?
The doctor says: "Should yourself 5 cm under your breast, you will be dead!"
2 weeks later, woman back at doctors, what happened?
I shot myself into my knee.
Why can't single women fart?
They don't get an asshole till they get married.
Q: What do women, tornadoes and hurricanes have in common?
A: They all get the house.
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head.
'What are you doing dear?'
'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females'
'How do you know what sex they were?'
The man very confidently replied, "Easy - 3 were on the beer and 2 were on the phone."
The woman opposite the road from me called me a pervert earlier, I don't know why!
Knowing she likes bird watching I asked her if she'd like to come over and have a look at my twelve finches.