Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
Companies are working on a camera which has such a fast shutter speed that it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut. Advance Booking open!
Q: What do you call a women who does as much work as a man? A: A lazy b*tch.
Scientists have now discovered how women keep their secrets. They do so within groups of 40.
An old woman buys herself some bright red crotchless panties and goes home to surprise her husband. When her husband comes home, she calls him into the bedroom and points to her new panties. "Hey old timer," she says, "come and get some of this!" The old man says, "Hell no, woman. It done ate a hole in your drawers!"
Why was the name "P.M.S." chosen ? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken...
Question: Why do women close their eyes during sex? Answer: They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. 'What are you doing dear?' 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' 'How do you know what sex they were?' The man very confidently replied, "Easy - 3 were on the beer and 2 were on the phone."
Q: Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow? A: So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor.