The best jokes about women

What do they call a woman who works as hard as a man? Answer: “Lazy.”
Vote: has 42.03 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
Somebody told me the best way to meet women is to do something you enjoy right away, you have something in common. So, I've spent the past year smoking dope and watching television.
Vote: has 42.03 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, women
Q: Why did God create women? A: He took one look at men and said, "I know I can do better than this."
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, women
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.
Vote: has 40.39 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: divorce, women
A guy dials his home phone number from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?" "This is the maid," answered the woman. "We don’t have a maid!" "I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house." "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?" "Ummm…she’s upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband." The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?" "What do I have to do?" "I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she’s with." The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by a couple of gunshots. The maid comes back to the phone. "What should I do with the bodies?" "Throw them in the swimming pool!" "What pool?”" "Uh.. is this 832-4173?"
Vote: has 40.24 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, phone, women, work
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice.
Vote: has 39.81 % from 89 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, women
Q: Why shouldn't girls wear skirts in winter? A: Because their lips will get chapped!
Vote: has 39.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, dirty, winter, women
What do you call a room full of women, half with PMS, half with yeast infections? A whine and cheese party.
Vote: has 39.50 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. "Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!" The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" asked the instructor. "Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: golf, sport, time, women
A man is in a bar and has one too many drinks. This beautiful lady sits down next to him. He turns to her and says "Hey how bout it. You and me, gettin it on. I've got a couple dollars and it looks like you could use a little money." She stands up and says, "What makes you think I charge by the inch."
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beauty, money, women