The best jokes about women

Q: Who was the best business woman in the Bible? A: Pharoah's daughter – she drew a profit from the rush at the bank.
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has 50.22 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: bible, business, money, women
The woman opposite the road from me called me a pervert earlier, I don't know why! Knowing she likes bird watching I asked her if she'd like to come over and have a look at my twelve finches.
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has 50.00 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: bird, dirty, women
A woman goes to a doctor, doctor, I'm tired of life, want to finish my life, what is best to kill myself? The doctor says: "Should yourself 5 cm under your breast, you will be dead!" 2 weeks later, woman back at doctors, what happened? I shot myself into my knee.
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has 49.79 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life, medical, time, women
Why can't single women fart? They don't get an asshole till they get married.
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has 49.76 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: fat, marriage, men, women
Q: What do women, tornadoes and hurricanes have in common? A: They all get the house.
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has 49.68 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: marriage, weather, women
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. 'What are you doing dear?' 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' 'How do you know what sex they were?' The man very confidently replied, "Easy - 3 were on the beer and 2 were on the phone."
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: beer, husband, old people, phone, women
Q: How do you fix a woman’s watch? A: You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.
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has 49.41 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: time, women
At a Whitehouse party for past presidents. Michelle Obama caught Barron Trump making faces at Sasha. Michelle walked over to reprimand the child and said, "Barron, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Baron looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Obama, you can't say you weren't warned."
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has 49.00 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: kids, mean, political, ugly, women
An old woman buys herself some bright red crotchless panties and goes home to surprise her husband. When her husband comes home, she calls him into the bedroom and points to her new panties. "Hey old timer," she says, "come and get some of this!" The old man says, "Hell no, woman. It done ate a hole in your drawers!"
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has 49.00 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, women
Question: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? Answer: The dog, because he’ll shut up after you let him in.
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has 48.41 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dog, wife, women
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