The best jokes about women

What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men, women
Girl: why am I still single? Brain: you're weird as shit. Body: and you're fat. Face: plus you're pretty ugly. Food: Don't worry babe, I'm here for you.
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: women
Question: Why do women close their eyes during sex? Answer: They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.
Vote: has 48.69 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex, time, women
An old woman buys herself some bright red crotchless panties and goes home to surprise her husband. When her husband comes home, she calls him into the bedroom and points to her new panties. "Hey old timer," she says, "come and get some of this!" The old man says, "Hell no, woman. It done ate a hole in your drawers!"
Vote: has 48.65 % from 59 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, husband, women
Q: Why dont black women wear panties to picknics? A: To keep the flies off the chicken
Vote: has 48.43 % from 95 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: racist, women
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" "Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked. "Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: time, wife, women
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?" "Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man." "Wow," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, priest, women
He: So then, what's your sign? She: Dollar.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: women
Q: How big is a Republican-size bed? A: Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: insulting, men, republican, women
What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbians apartment? Potpourri.
Vote: has 48.18 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, lesbian, women


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