Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
Question: Why do women close their eyes during sex?
Answer: They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.
Q: What do you call a blonde chick standing on her head?
A: A brunette.
A Jewish guy got in a taxi cab...5 min into a ride the driver notice a man beating up a woman on the other side of the street.
The driver rush to the scene.
He open the door ran out as soon as he did that the Jewish guy roll down his window as fast as he can and shouted, "Stop it, stop it, stop the meter."
I pray for:
Wisdom, To understand a man.
Love, To forgive him and;
Patience, For his moods.
Because if I pray for Strength
I'll just beat him to death.
There are a hundred holes in the body of a woman; one of them would be filled with a penis and 99 others could be filled with money.
The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom...
I usually wear a yellow and green vest.
Q: Why haven't they sent any women to the moon?
A: Because it doesn't need cleaning yet.
Women are like parking spaces, normally all the good ones are taken.
So, occasionally, when no one's looking, you have to stick it in a disabled one.
Q: Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter?
A: Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.