The best jokes about women

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with, "A man once told me..."
Vote: has 43.90 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
A man went to England on a trip and met a woman there, they grew to like each other enough for her to come to America with the man on his flight home. When they got back to America the man said, “I would like to show you an American pastime: baseball.” So the next day the man took her to a baseball game. The first man came up to the plate and hit the ball to right field and got to first base, the next man bunted the ball and got to first base, and the third man came up to the plate and got walked. The man said, “Are you understanding this game?” The woman answered, “Yes, but what I don't understand is why the thrower hurls the ball at the first man and he hits it. Then he hurls the ball at the second man and he taps it and runs to where the other man was standing. And then the third man, this is the part I don't understand, the thrower hurls the ball and he just stand there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there then he just walks to the place where the other man was standing.” Then the man says, “Well that is because he has four balls.” The woman says, “Poor thing! He couldn't run if he tried.”
Vote: has 43.90 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport, women
Q: How do you blind a woman? A: You put a windshield in front of her.
Vote: has 43.90 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.
Vote: has 43.90 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, love, women
Q: Why did God create women? A: He took one look at men and said, "I know I can do better than this."
Vote: has 43.90 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, women
A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, "Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?" Then the lady answered, "Excuse me, I think this is a goose." And the bartender says, "Excuse me, I was talking to the goose."
Vote: has 43.73 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bartender, insulting, women
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
Vote: has 43.46 % from 82 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, sex, women
Question: How do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is? Answer: A widow.
Vote: has 43.39 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, husband, women
Whats six inches long, has a head on it and drives women wild ? A fifty pound note !
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. "Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!" The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" asked the instructor. "Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: golf, sport, time, women