The best jokes about women

Companies are working on a camera which has such a fast shutter speed that it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut. Advance Booking open!
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: women, work
Q: What do you call a women who does as much work as a man? A: A lazy b*tch.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: women, work
Scientists have now discovered how women keep their secrets. They do so within groups of 40.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: insulting, science, women
An old woman buys herself some bright red crotchless panties and goes home to surprise her husband. When her husband comes home, she calls him into the bedroom and points to her new panties. "Hey old timer," she says, "come and get some of this!" The old man says, "Hell no, woman. It done ate a hole in your drawers!"
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has 51.58 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, women
Q. What do a toilet and a woman have in common? A. Without the hole in the middle they aren't good for shit.
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has 51.27 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: dirty, women
A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want no vacaine because I’m in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way." The dentist was quite impressed. "You’re certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?" The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: dentist, doctor, husband, women
Question: Why do women close their eyes during sex? Answer: They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.
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has 50.97 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: sex, time, women
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?" "Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man." "Wow," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, priest, women
Q: Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow? A: So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, women
Question: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? Answer: The dog, because he’ll shut up after you let him in.
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has 50.64 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dog, wife, women
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