The best jokes about women

Q. What do a toilet and a woman have in common? A. Without the hole in the middle they aren't good for shit.
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has 51.27 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: dirty, women
A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want no vacaine because I’m in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way." The dentist was quite impressed. "You’re certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?" The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: dentist, doctor, husband, women
A woman walks into a supermarket and buys: 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube of toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 single serving of cereal 1 single serving frozen dinner 1 can of Soup For One 1 16oz can of Miller Lite The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, "Single, are you?" The woman smiles sweetly and replies, "How did you guess?" He replies, “Because you’re ugly.”
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: food, women
Question: Why do women close their eyes during sex? Answer: They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.
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has 50.97 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: sex, time, women
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?" "Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man." "Wow," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, priest, women
Q: Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow? A: So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, women
Question: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? Answer: The dog, because he’ll shut up after you let him in.
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has 50.64 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dog, wife, women
What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: men, women
Question: What do women and Slinkies have in common? Answer: Not really too much, but you can’t help but crack a smile when one tumbles down the stairs.
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: women
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Priest said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: marriage, priest, wedding, women
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