The best jokes about women

Question: How is a woman like a laxative? Answer: They both irritate the shit out of you.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: women
This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?" So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, food, husband, new year, women
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. 'What are you doing dear?' 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' 'How do you know what sex they were?' The man very confidently replied, "Easy - 3 were on the beer and 2 were on the phone."
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: beer, husband, old people, phone, women
What is a buttress? A female goat.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, women
Miss DeAngelo was a not-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star. She didn’t find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms, and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case. When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward. "Miss DeAngelo, the wife of the defendant has identified you as the ‘other woman’ in her husband’s life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?" "Well, yes," acknowledged Miss DeAngelo with a sniff, "but I couldn’t help it." "Couldn’t help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "How’s that?" "Mr. Evans deceived me." "Exactly what do you mean?" "See, when we signed in," she explained, "he told the motel clerk I was his wife."
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has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, divorce, marriage, wife, women
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A. A widow.
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: husband, men, women
Q: Why haven't they sent any women to the moon? A: Because it doesn't need cleaning yet.
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has 49.27 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: travel, women
What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: men, women
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Priest said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage, priest, wedding, women
Girl: why am I still single? Brain: you're weird as shit. Body: and you're fat. Face: plus you're pretty ugly. Food: Don't worry babe, I'm here for you.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: women
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