The best jokes about women

Women are like parking spaces, normally all the good ones are taken. So, occasionally, when no one's looking, you have to stick it in a disabled one.
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has 47.48 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter? A: Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: women
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: women
Question: Why do women have smaller feet than men? Answer: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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has 46.97 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: women
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: women
Why are marriend women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what's in the refrigerator and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the refrigerator.
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: women
There is woman at a mental hospital that are told to go out into the world and find out something new about it. After about 3 hours she go back to the hospital and tell the the manager what she has learned. The woman goes up to the manager and puts a large spider on the table and shouts, "BOO" and the spider scurries under the table. She then picks up the spider, pulls all of it's legs off and shouts, "BOO" but the spider can't move. The manager then looks strangely at the woman and asks her what she has learned about the world. The woman replies, "When I pull all the legs off a spider it can't hear me!"
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: hospital, women
Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop? A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
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has 46.63 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, women
Three women were sitting in a bar, (a brunette, red head, and a blonde) they were all pregnant. The brunette says, "I know what I'm going to have." The other to asked how. She replied, "well I was on top when I conceived so I will have a boy". The red head said, "If that is true then I will have a girl because I was on the bottom when I conceived. The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!".
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has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, blonde, ginger, women
Q: If a man crashes his car into a woman who's fault is it? A: Well what was the man doing driving in the kitchen...
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has 46.37 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: car, driving, women
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