The best jokes about women

Q: Why haven't they sent any women to the moon? A: Because it doesn't need cleaning yet.
Vote:
has 47.67 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: travel, women
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?” The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”
Vote:
has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: bar, women
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Priest said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
Vote:
has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: marriage, priest, wedding, women
Three women were sitting in a bar, (a brunette, red head, and a blonde) they were all pregnant. The brunette says, "I know what I'm going to have." The other to asked how. She replied, "well I was on top when I conceived so I will have a boy". The red head said, "If that is true then I will have a girl because I was on the bottom when I conceived. The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!".
Vote:
has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, blonde, ginger, women
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
Vote:
has 47.57 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: death, women
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Vote:
has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: car, dog, marriage, men, women
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" "Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked. "Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."
Vote:
has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: time, wife, women
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
Vote:
has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: women
Why did the woman cross the road? That's not the point,what's she doing out of the kitchen?
Vote:
has 47.24 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: If a man crashes his car into a woman who's fault is it? A: Well what was the man doing driving in the kitchen...
Vote:
has 46.96 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: car, driving, women
<<<49505152
More jokes →
Page 49 of 65.