I pray for:
Wisdom, To understand a man.
Love, To forgive him and;
Patience, For his moods.
Because if I pray for Strength
I'll just beat him to death.
There are a hundred holes in the body of a woman; one of them would be filled with a penis and 99 others could be filled with money.
The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom...
I usually wear a yellow and green vest.
Q: Why haven't they sent any women to the moon?
A: Because it doesn't need cleaning yet.
Women are like parking spaces, normally all the good ones are taken.
So, occasionally, when no one's looking, you have to stick it in a disabled one.
Q: Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter?
A: Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
A little boy was attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said.
"All you have to do is add it up, like the Priest said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
Question: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
Answer: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Q: If a man crashes his car into a woman who's fault is it?
A: Well what was the man doing driving in the kitchen...