The best jokes about women

Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a women? A: The pizza can be eaten but the women can't!
Vote:
has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: food, women
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
Vote:
has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: women
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?” The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”
Vote:
has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: What do you call a 900-pound woman with a yeast infection? A: A whopper with cheese.
Vote:
has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: women
What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild? Money.
Vote:
has 36.46 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: money, women
Q: Why do fat, ugly women give the best blow jobs? A: Because they have to!
Vote:
has 36.37 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: fat, mean, sex, women
What is a Zebra? A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.
Vote:
has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, women
Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for the week preceding the exam and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared. And best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises right in the privacy of your own home. Exercise #1: Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Repeat with the other breast. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again. Exercise #2 Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Do this again in case the last time wasn't effective enough. Then repeat with the other breast. Exercise #3 Visit your garage at 3 a.m. when the temperature of the concrete floor is just perfect. Take off all your warm clothes and lay comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until the breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat for the other breast. CONGRATULATIONS! Now you are properly prepared for your mammogram.
Vote:
has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: car, sport, time, women
What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common? They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one.
Vote:
has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men? A: So they can stand closer to the sink.
Vote:
has 36.08 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: women
<<<59606162
More jokes →
Page 59 of 65.