Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a women? A: The pizza can be eaten but the women can't!
Women are just like fine wine. I only like the white ones.
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
Q: Why shouldn't girls wear skirts in winter? A: Because their lips will get chapped!
Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?” The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”
Q: What do you call a 900-pound woman with a yeast infection? A: A whopper with cheese.
What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild? Money.
Q: Why do fat, ugly women give the best blow jobs? A: Because they have to!