Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.
Q: Do you know what 69 is? A: It's a good thing screwed up by a period.
This black woman was vastly overweight, and I mean MASSIVE and she went to see the doctor about her weight. She said to him, "Have you got any dieting remedies or anything that can help me loose weight?" The doctor replies, "Yes we do, all you need to do is shake your head from left too right, simple eh?!" She says, "WOW that's amazing, um... when do I do it?" The doctor says, "Next time your ordered food."
Q: Who were the first two black women? A: Aunt Jemima and Mother Fucker!
What do you do if your dishwasher breaks down? Kick her where the sun don't shine.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't told her twice!
A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed, and dirty Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go." The physician was checking hers eyes and ears. "Don't feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad." "Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked. The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."
The waitress asked how I would like my coffee. I told her: "like my woman - hot and black".
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.