How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
Q: What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties?
A: Women!
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
What is a Zebra?
A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.
How can you tell if your wife is dead?
The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
This black woman was vastly overweight, and I mean MASSIVE and she went to see the doctor about her weight.
She said to him, "Have you got any dieting remedies or anything that can help me loose weight?"
The doctor replies, "Yes we do, all you need to do is shake your head from left too right, simple eh?!"
She says, "WOW that's amazing, um... when do I do it?"
The doctor says, "Next time your ordered food."
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a women?
A: The pizza can be eaten but the women can't!
Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
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