A man has 6 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men? A: So they can stand closer to the sink.
Five men and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck. Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal. Each man will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next man in line will marry her and so on. All the men get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different man each week. The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies... The first week after wasn't too bad. The second week was geting sort of bad. The third week was getting pretty bad. The fourth week was really bad. The fifth week was horrible! By the sixth week it was unbearable... so they buried her.
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed, and dirty Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go." The physician was checking hers eyes and ears. "Don't feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad." "Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked. The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Question: What’s six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild? Answer: Money.
Q: What happens if your dishwasher stops working? A: You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
Question: What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull? Answer: Lipstick.