The best jokes about women

Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
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has 36.03 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, sex, women
Q: How do you blind a woman? A: You put a windshield in front of her.
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has 35.66 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: women
A woman went to a doctor and said , doctor, I have a problem. every time I sneeze I have an orgasm. the doctor said, oh really, what have you been doing for it. The woman replied, snorting pepper.
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: women
Q:Why did the woman cross the road? A I don't know, the real question is, why was she out of the kitchen?
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: Why shouldn't girls wear skirts in winter? A: Because their lips will get chapped!
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has 35.37 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, winter, women
A man is in a bar and has one too many drinks. This beautiful lady sits down next to him. He turns to her and says "Hey how bout it. You and me, gettin it on. I've got a couple dollars and it looks like you could use a little money." She stands up and says, "What makes you think I charge by the inch."
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beauty, money, women
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: baby, phone, women
A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?” “What dear?” she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. ”I think you’re bad luck.”
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: women
A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and hugged her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "You worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, women
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
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has 35.20 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: beer, men, women
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