A Woman asks a Waiter What is this fly doing in my Ice cream?
The waiter says, "SHIVERING MADAM".
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
11 - 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it...
A man is in a bar and has one too many drinks.
This beautiful lady sits down next to him.
He turns to her and says "Hey how bout it.
You and me, gettin it on. I've got a couple dollars and it looks like you could use a little money."
She stands up and says, "What makes you think I charge by the inch."
Question: How do you fix a woman’s watch?
Answer: You don’t.
There’s a clock on the stove.
A woman went to a doctor and said , doctor, I have a problem. every time I sneeze I have an orgasm.
the doctor said, oh really, what have you been doing for it.
The woman replied, snorting pepper.
Q: Why shouldn't girls wear skirts in winter?
A: Because their lips will get chapped!
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Q: What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties?
A: Women!
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.