The best jokes about women

My Dearest Susan, Sweetie of my heart. I’ve been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement. Simply devastated. Won’t you please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never marry another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won’t you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love you so. Yours always and truly, John P.S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men, women
One day there was a woman who lost her cat named "LOVE." It was pretty dark outside and she lived in New York. So, thinking that he might be down the street, she put on her house-coat and went looking for him. When a police officer stopped to ask what she was doing, she said very honestly, "I'm looking for LOVE." The policeman arrested her on the spot.
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, cop, women
Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women? When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: men, women
A single woman who retired just a few months back walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch in her neighborhood. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." "That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?' "Twenty-six," he said.
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: age, alcohol, life, old people, women
“Honey,” said this husband to his wife, “I invited a friend home for supper.” “What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven’t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!” “I know all that.” “Then why did you invite a friend for supper?” “Because the poor fool’s thinking about getting married.”
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: women
A man is in a bar and has one too many drinks. This beautiful lady sits down next to him. He turns to her and says "Hey how bout it. You and me, gettin it on. I've got a couple dollars and it looks like you could use a little money." She stands up and says, "What makes you think I charge by the inch."
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beauty, money, women
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: What do you call a 900-pound woman with a yeast infection? A: A whopper with cheese.
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: Who were the first two black women? A: Aunt Jemima and Mother Fucker!
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has 36.45 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: black people, insulting, vulgar, women
What is a Zebra? A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, women
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