The best jokes about women

Five men and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck. Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal. Each man will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next man in line will marry her and so on. All the men get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different man each week. The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies... The first week after wasn't too bad. The second week was geting sort of bad. The third week was getting pretty bad. The fourth week was really bad. The fifth week was horrible! By the sixth week it was unbearable... so they buried her.
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has 38.00 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: desert island, disgusting, marriage, time, women
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice.
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has 37.95 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: dirty, women
A blonde is on holiday and she wallks into an internet cafe to send an e-mail to her mum in America. She doesn't know how to work the computers so she goes up to the guy on the desk and says: "Excuse me could you help me send an e-mail to my mum?" The guy says "Yeh, but it will cost ya" And the blonde says "Sure i'll do anything for my mum" The guy says: "In that case follow me" So she follows him into the back room and he pushes her down onto her knees, he unzips his trousers and pulls down his boxers and says: "Well go on then you said you'd do anything!" So she picks up his dick, holds it to her mouth and says: "Hello.........mum are you there?"
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: blonde, phone, technology, women
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?" "What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. ”I think you're bad luck."
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: husband, women
Question: How do you fix a woman’s watch? Answer: You don’t. There’s a clock on the stove.
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has 37.68 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: women
How many women does it take to change a light bulb? 11 - 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it...
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has 37.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: women
What do you call a room full of women, half with PMS, half with yeast infections? A whine and cheese party.
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has 37.27 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: women
My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!
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has 37.27 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: women
Women are just like fine wine. I only like the white ones.
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has 37.03 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: racist, white people, wine, women
My Dearest Susan, Sweetie of my heart. I’ve been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement. Simply devastated. Won’t you please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never marry another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won’t you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love you so. Yours always and truly, John P.S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men, women
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