Q: Do you know why women over fifty don't have babies?
A: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
Vote:
Q: Why is it jewish men won't go down on a woman?
A: Too close to the gas chamber.
Women are just like fine wine.
I only like the white ones.
Vote:
What would a computer geek is going to do after seeing a beautiful woman?
"Immediately start downloading it."
A blonde is on holiday and she wallks into an internet cafe to send an e-mail to her mum in America.
She doesn't know how to work the computers so she goes up to the guy on the desk and says: "Excuse me could you help me send an e-mail to my mum?"
The guy says "Yeh, but it will cost ya"
And the blonde says "Sure i'll do anything for my mum"
The guy says: "In that case follow me"
So she follows him into the back room and he pushes her down onto her knees, he unzips his trousers and pulls down his boxers and says: "Well go on then you said you'd do anything!"
So she picks up his dick, holds it to her mouth and says: "Hello.........mum are you there?"
Vote:
A single woman who retired just a few months back walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch in her neighborhood.
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said.
"What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said.
"I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," the woman said.
"How old are you?'
"Twenty-six," he said.
A man is in a bar and has one too many drinks.
This beautiful lady sits down next to him.
He turns to her and says "Hey how bout it.
You and me, gettin it on. I've got a couple dollars and it looks like you could use a little money."
She stands up and says, "What makes you think I charge by the inch."
There's no wine holder on this vacuum cleaner.
It's like it wasn't even designed for women.
How can I be expected to work under these conditions?
Vote:
What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild?
Money.