The best work jokes

A man who recently had a sex-change operation was talking to his former buddies at work about the operation. "Was it painful?" someone asked. "Well,"she said. "There was one part that was extremely painful." "I bet I know what part was so painful," someone else said. "I bet it was when they cut off your balls," they said. "No," she said. "I was heavily sedated and didn't feel a thing." "Then it must have been when they cut off your pecker," another person offered. "No," she said. "I was sedated then too, and didn't feel anything." "Then what part of the operation was so painful?" They wanted to know. "Well," she said. "After they were done cutting, they stuck a straw in my ear and sucked out half of my brains."
Vote:
has 39.24 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: doctor, sex, work
Black magic... It doesn't work.
Vote:
has 38.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: racist, work
Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay? A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.
Vote:
has 38.75 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, gay, work
What is the best job in a country which is war-prone? "Foreign ambassador."
Vote:
has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: military, war, work
Client: "The blue looks OK, but it would be great if it was a little more orange. Like "blorange."
Vote:
has 36.23 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: beauty, customer service, work
One day a government worker was digging through his office drawers when suddenly he came upon a magic lamp. (Oh, c'mon, I'm sure there's one buried in your desk too.) Since he'd heard these jokes before, he knew that he had to rub the lamp and make the genie come out. So he rubbed the lamp and - oh, surprise out popped a genie. The genie asked, as genies will, "What is your first wish?" The government worker thought about it for a second, then replied, "I would like to be rich!" So the genie granted him his wish, and poof the man was surrounded by piles of money rivaling the heaps of even Martha Stewart and Bill Gates. Since the government worker knew the whole wish process, the genie didn't even have to ask for number two before he said, "My second wish is to be on an island with beautiful women surrounding me and obeying my every command!" And poof, he was there. Then the government worker or, as I like to call him, civil servant decided on his third wish, "I don't want to do any work ever again!" and poof ubiquitous ironic twist he was back in his office.
Vote:
has 34.19 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: genie, life, money, political, work
I hated my job as an origami teacher. Too much paperwork.
Vote:
has 34.09 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher, work
What is so special about the retirement age? "It is the time when one acquires sufficient experience to lose one's job."
Vote:
has 34.09 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: age, old people, work
Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks. "I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket." Amazed, the driver asked for what. The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."
Vote:
has 33.37 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: cop, driving, money, work
"What are you doing there?" "I'm making something." "What are you making?" "A bomb." "Can I help?" "Impossible. It's a nuclear one..."
Vote:
has 33.28 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: life, science, work
<<<414243
More jokes →
Page 41 of 43.