The best work jokes

Q: What happens if your dishwasher stops working? A: You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.

Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks. "I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket." Amazed, the driver asked for what. The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."

What is the best job in a country which is war-prone? "Foreign ambassador."

Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks. "I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket." Amazed, the driver asked for what. The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."

What should you give a man who has everything? A. A woman to show him how to work it. B. Penicillin.

Q: What's the difference between a working white man and a working black man? A: The White man is working legally.

The other day was Take Your Daughter To Work day. The Cubs had a fun time, played a little scrimmage against their daughters. Unfortunately they lost, 15-3.

Q: Why did the astronaut retire? A: He got spaced out!

(A) You are not Tom Cruise, (B) The guns may stop working at the last moment, (C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you, (D) Your family might not like the amount of compensation on your behalf (E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!"