The best work jokes

I like a big, strong, hardworking man, a man who wakes up early in the morning eager to work hard. I'm talking day-in and day-out just working and sweating and sweating and working, and when it's all over, he showers and goes to his job.
has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage, work
A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room, she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out “green side up!” In the second room, she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled “green side up!” The lady was somewhat curious, but she said nothing. In the third room, she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled “green side up!” The lady then asked him, “Why do you keep yelling ‘green side up’?” “I’m sorry,” came the reply. “But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.
has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde, work
Q: Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out? A: He was already taking out a tooth.
has 38.99 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: dating, dentist, work
Two men were talking about their wives. First: "I'm a teacher whenever we are in bed my wife says repeat please." Second: "I'm a driver when we are sexing she thinks I'm in a gas station so she screws my dick and says: 'fill it up super!'"
has 38.75 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, sex, teacher, work
Chuck Norris asked his script writer for more dialogue and the script writer said "Chuck you mean more grunting?"
has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, work
A man who recently had a sex-change operation was talking to his former buddies at work about the operation. "Was it painful?" someone asked. "Well,"she said. "There was one part that was extremely painful." "I bet I know what part was so painful," someone else said. "I bet it was when they cut off your balls," they said. "No," she said. "I was heavily sedated and didn't feel a thing." "Then it must have been when they cut off your pecker," another person offered. "No," she said. "I was sedated then too, and didn't feel anything." "Then what part of the operation was so painful?" They wanted to know. "Well," she said. "After they were done cutting, they stuck a straw in my ear and sucked out half of my brains."
has 38.15 % from 138 votes. More jokes about: doctor, sex, work
There's no wine holder on this vacuum cleaner. It's like it wasn't even designed for women. How can I be expected to work under these conditions?
has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: technology, wine, women, work
has 37.68 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: sex, stupid, work, Yo mama
Black magic... It doesn't work.
has 37.36 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: racist, work
Chuck Norris can paint himself into a corner and still get the job done.
has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, work
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