Best jokes ever

Your mama is so ugly, that she made a blind kid cry.
Vote: has 80.66 % from 1953 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, kids, Yo mama
A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, “Can I smell your pussy?” The woman looks at him in disgust and says, “Certainly not!” “Hmmm,” he replies. “It must be your feet, then.”
Vote: has 80.65 % from 107 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, women
This guy's at a bar, and it's really late. He's been drinking hard all night, and is so tanked he falls backwards right off the bar stool onto the floor. He slowly climbs back up, takes another swig and slides right back onto the floor. Finally, this other guy is sympathetic and offers to drive the guy home. On the way out to the car, the drunk falls over a few times, and crawls the rest of the way to the car. When they get to his house, he can't even walk, and falls five times on the way to his own front door. The good samaritan helps him the rest of the way, and rings the doorbell. The drunk's wife opens the door. He says, "Sorry to wake you m'am. Your husband's had a few too many, so I drove him home for you." The wife gratefully responds, "Thank you, sir, that's very kind of you." "Where's his wheelchair?"
Vote: has 80.65 % from 82 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol
Fast way to screw up someone's Knock Knock joke...? "It's open."
Vote: has 80.63 % from 295 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: knock-knock, life
Film makers are smart enough NOT to make a Chuck Norris movie in 3D.
Vote: has 80.62 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
"If women ruled the world," said my wife, "there'd be no wars."  "That's true," I replied. "Wars require strategy and logic."
Vote: has 80.62 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: war, wife, women
Chuck Norris shot a man to death with an unloaded nerf gun.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
If you rate this kickass, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.
Vote: has 80.62 % from 1734 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, music
What's the difference between a black and a white fairytale? White begins, "once upon a time," black begins, "y'all motherfuckers ain't gonna believe dis shit!"
Vote: has 80.62 % from 2777 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people
Two older women were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking. First Lady:Whats that? Second Lady: A condom. This way my cigarette doesnt get wet. First Lady: Where did you get it? Second Lady : You can get them at any drugstore. The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years old), but very delicately asks what brand she prefers. Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.
Vote: has 80.61 % from 119 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty