Best jokes ever

Two brooms are getting married. Before the ceremony, the bride broom says to the groom broom, "I think I'm going to have a whisk." The groom broom says, "How can that be possible? We haven't even swept together!"
has 80.95 % from 164 votes. More jokes about: marriage
I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew it.
has 80.94 % from 176 votes. More jokes about: life
Recruits got a shock when their Army basic-training instructor turned out to be an attractive female sergeant. Her assistant, however, was a burly, hawk-nosed veteran whose glare could freeze water. At the end of training, the attractive instructor congratulated the recruits and said that if there was anything she could do for us, just ask. From the back, a voice called out, "How about a kiss from the sergeant?" "Sure," she replied, raising her hand to quell the laughter. "But I'll let my assistant take care of it!"
has 80.94 % from 176 votes. More jokes about: military, women
Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, "What’s in the bags?" "Sand," answered Juan. The guard says, "We’ll just see about that – get off the bike!" The guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man’s shoulders, and lets him cross the border. The next day, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What have you got?" "Sand," says Juan. The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle. This sequence of events is repeated every day for a year. Finally, Juan doesn’t show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in Mexico. "Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I think about… I can’t sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?" Juan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles."
has 80.94 % from 681 votes. More jokes about: beer, cop, mexican
I think Bing could have totally crushed Google if they had called it "Bang". I mean, think about it.. "I BANGED Emma Watson last night."
has 80.93 % from 557 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, dirty, internet
An economist is someone who didn't have enough personality to become an accountant.
has 80.93 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: accountant, work
Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap. He was high on my list of priorities.
has 80.93 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: friendship, life
Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!
has 80.89 % from 5543 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, college, Santa, ugly, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her imaginary friend played with other kids.
has 80.89 % from 902 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, Yo mama
Q: Why can't Mexicans play Uno? A: They always steal the green cards.
has 80.89 % from 1156 votes. More jokes about: racist
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