Best jokes ever

When batman is in trouble, he turns on the Chuck Norris signal.
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has 81.01 % from 336 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
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has 81.00 % from 428 votes. More jokes about: marriage, nerd, technology
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
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has 81.00 % from 525 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator? A: "What are you shaking about, it's me she's going to eat."
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has 81.00 % from 405 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, masturbation
A man bought a Lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decided to test it at dinner: … DAD : Son where were you today during school hours? SON : At school (robot slaps the Son and he immediately changes his mind) Okay I went to the movies! DAD : Which one? SON : Harry Potter (robot slaps Son again!) Okay I was watching porno. DAD : What? When I was your age I didn’t even know porno! (robot slaps dad) MUM : hahahahaha! After all he is your Son! (robot gives Mum a hot dirty slap)
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has 80.99 % from 2620 votes. More jokes about: sex
Teacher: "I wished you would pay a little attention." Pupil: "I'm paying as little as I can!"
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has 80.99 % from 353 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
THE PERKS OF BEING OVER 60 1) Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 2) In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 3) No one expects you to run -- anywhere. 4) People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?" 5) People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. 6) There is nothing left to learn the hard way. 7) Things you buy now won't wear out. 8) You can eat dinner at 4 P.M. 9) You can live without sex but not without your glasses. 10) You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations. 11) You get into heated arguments about pension plans. 12) You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. 13) You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. 14) You sing along with elevator music. 15) Your eyes won't get much worse. 16) Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. 17) Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service. 18) Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. 19) Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. 20) You can't remember the Web site where you saw this list.
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has 80.99 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: old people
Teacher: “You know you can’t sleep in my class.” Boy: “I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.”
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has 80.99 % from 242 votes. More jokes about: school
A man was getting ready to close his bar for the night when a robber with a ski mask burst in and pulls a gun. He yells to him, "This is a stick-up! Put all your dough in this bag!" The scared the man pleads, "Don't shoot, please! I'll do as you say!" The robber yells, "Shut up and empty the cash register!" HE says, "Okay, okay! Just don't shoot, I have a wife and kids! I'll do whatever you say!" The crook takes the money then puts the gun to the the man's head and says, Alright, now give me a bl*wjob!" "Anything!" cries Banta, "Just don't shoot!" The man starts to blow the crook. As the crook gets excited, he drops the gun. Man sees the gun on the floor, picks it up, hands it back to the crook and yells, "Hold the gun, damn it! Somebody might walk in!"
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has 80.99 % from 242 votes. More jokes about: dirty
"Mommie, Mommie....did you know that nurses can come apart..?" "Well...no. What makes you say that..?" "Because the other night, I overheard Daddy say that he screwed the ass off of a nurse..!"
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has 80.98 % from 236 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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