Marraige is a 3-ring circus.
Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
Ones the bus was full of people.
A man looks at a lovely girl, she looks at him, he smiled, she did so, he told her get off at the next station, she did, he took her place.
Chuck Norris once taught a book to read.
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Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
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Q: What do you call a buncha Blondes in a freezer?
A: Frosted Flakes.
Q: Why is diarrhea hereditary?
A: It runs in your genes.
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Yo mama is so dumb she stuck a battery up her butt and said, "I got energy!"
Chuck Norris tells clocks what time it is.
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When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Only for half the day."
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A man walks into a nearly empty bar and orders a drink. He's sitting alone at the end of the bar, sipping away, and he hears a voice.
"Nice shirt."
He looks around and sees no one nearby. He forgets about it and continues drinking.
"Nice tie," the voice says again.
He looks around a second time. The bartender and all other customers are at the other side of the room. Confused, the man calls the bartender over and asks about the mysterious voice that admired his clothing.
"Oh, that's the peanuts," the bartender said.
"The peanuts?" asked the man.
"Yeah, they're complimentary."