Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee.
He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
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When Chuck Norris talks, people listen.
When he doesn't, people still listen.
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Chuck Norris walked into a bar.
"OUCH!" said the bar.
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Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine.
He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself.
Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
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Chuck Norris DNA is classified.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a will.
Invincible people don't need them.
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Chuck Norris never actually moves.
He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
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A man walks into his bedroom after work and is surprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed.
After careful examination, he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains.
He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there.
"Who the hell are you?" he yells.
The naked guy replies, "I'm the moth inspector."
"Oh, yeah? What are you doing naked?"
He looks down and exclaims, "Oh my God, I'm too late!"
Q:Why did the computer lose its trust relationship with the domain?
A:Because it was corrupted in active directory and needed to be removed and re-added again!
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Prostitute 1: Tonight's my night I can smell c**k in the air.
Prostitute 2: Oh, sorry. I burped.
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