Best jokes ever

Q: Whats the most popular pick up line in a gay bar? A: "May I push in your stool?"
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has 50.81 % from 181 votes. More jokes about: bar, gay
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you." The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!" Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?" The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!"
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has 50.78 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: game, kids, money, work
Noticing a mistake in St. Peter's roster, God calls Satan; "It seems you accidentally received some of my professionals down there: a teacher, a doctor and a farmer." "Yeah," Satan replies. "All the more for me!" God replies, "You better send them up here immediately." Satan says, "No way. I'm keeping them." God says, "Send them up here, or I'll sue the horns right off you." Satan laughs uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
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has 50.76 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, god, lawyer, teacher
Yo' Mama is so stupid, when her batteries die, she buries them.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: insulting, stupid, Yo mama
A tourist on a farm asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg. The farmer said, "That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw." "So why does he have a wooden leg?" the tourist asked. "One night, our house caught on fire, and he came inside and woke us all up." The tourist asked again, "So, why does that pig have a wooden leg?" "You can't eat a pig that brave all at once!"
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why are we so sure that Eve was African? If she were white, she wouldn't have eaten that apple! She would say, "Is this organic? What would Oprah do?" If she had been Asian, she'd have eaten the damn snake!
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: life
Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Two young men from up in Minnesota were looking at a Sears catalog and admiring the models. Ole says to the Sven "Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalog?" Sven replies, "Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!" Ole says, with wide eyes, "Wow, they aren’t very expensive. At this price, I’m buying one.” Sven smiles and pats him on the back, "Good idea! Order one and if she’s as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will get one too." Three weeks later, Sven asks his friend Ole, "Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalog?" Ole replies, "No, but it shouldn’t be long now. I got her clothes yesterday!"
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: beauty, life
What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day? After a week he was spotless.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
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