Chuck Norris brings his fists to gunfights.
If you are next to Chuck Norris then you will always have perfect cell phone reception.
T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons. Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
Stevie Wonder was the last person to stare Chuck Norris directly in the eyes...
What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"? A cow walking backwards.
Q: What do you get if you cross a football team with a flower center? A: Nottingham forest.
Q: What is the worst thing about a vegetable? A: Spitting them back up in a wheelchair.
Yo mama so fat that her knuckles have sideburns.
A man with pain on his right knee consulted his doctor. Doctor said: "It is nothing to worry about. It is due to old age." Patient: "The left knee is of the same age. But how is it that leg does not pain?"
Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.