Chuck Norris brings his fists to gunfights.
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If you are next to Chuck Norris then you will always have perfect cell phone reception.
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T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons.
Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
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Stevie Wonder was the last person to stare Chuck Norris directly in the eyes...
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What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"?
A cow walking backwards.
Q: What do you get if you cross a football team with a flower center?
A: Nottingham forest.
Q: What is the worst thing about a vegetable?
A: Spitting them back up in a wheelchair.
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Yo mama so fat that her knuckles have sideburns.
A man with pain on his right knee consulted his doctor.
Doctor said: "It is nothing to worry about. It is due to old age."
Patient: "The left knee is of the same age. But how is it that leg does not pain?"
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Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.
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