Chuck Norris's wish isn't your command, Chuck Norris's command is your wish...
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What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"?
A cow walking backwards.
Just announced that they are changing all the days of the week to Chuckdays.
Happy Chuckday everyone!
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Somebody said that Chuck sucks, since then their severed head with many foot marks have been found...
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When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does.
NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris cleans his teeth with a dentists drill.
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Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey.
He chews bees...
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3 bums were outside a bar.
The first one went in and asked for a fork.
The second one went in and also asked for a fork.
Then the third one went in and wanted a straw.
At this point, the bartender became curious.
"How come all your friends want forks and you want a straw?"
"Well," the bum said, "the dog threw up and the chunks are all gone."
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Bob: "Hey, Sue, why is there a tampon hanging out of your mouth?"
Sue: "Oh my God. What did I do with my cigarette?"
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Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
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