What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"?
A cow walking backwards.
Just announced that they are changing all the days of the week to Chuckdays.
Happy Chuckday everyone!
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Somebody said that Chuck sucks, since then their severed head with many foot marks have been found...
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When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does.
NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris cleans his teeth with a dentists drill.
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Hurricanes are really just Chuck Norris breathing into the rain.
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Yo mama so fat that her knuckles have sideburns.
Chinese and American are in a plane.
Suddenly, Chinese puts his shoes off and American is angry.
After some time, he goes to buy a coke, but Chinese says that he'll do it.
While he's gone, American spits into his shoes.
Chinese gets back and American drinks his coke.
That repeats a couple of times,and after the flight American admits, "I spitted in your shoes, sorry."
Chinese answers, "That's how we do it. We spit in each others shoes, we piss into each others cokes..."
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear.
He sleeps with a real bear.
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Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
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