A couple come across a wishing well. The husband leans over, makes a wish and throws in a penny. The wife makes a wish too, but she leans over too far, falls into the well and drowns. The husband says, ‘Wow! It really works!’
Chuck Norris only needs one bullet, because it should know to get back in the chamber.
Chuck Norris puts the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter'.
How do you know when a blonde has a brain fart? Her ears flap.
What's the difference between a leprechaun and gonorrhea? One's a cunning runt.
Q: What is the worst thing about a vegetable? A: Spitting them back up in a wheelchair.
What's green and yellow and eats nuts? Gonorrhea.
What do sick cannibals have for breakfast? Vitamin bills!
Yo mama is so dumb she stuck a battery up her butt and said, "I got energy!"
Chuck Norris brings his fists to gunfights.