Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
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Chuck Norris went up Niagra Falls in a barrel.
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Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
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Chuck Norris tells clocks what time it is.
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Hurricanes are really just Chuck Norris breathing into the rain.
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Yo mama so fat that her knuckles have sideburns.
How do you shoot a great white shark?
Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun.
For Chuch Norris, ANYTHING counts in horseshoes and handgrenades.
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What kind of noise annoys an oyster?
A noisy noise annoys an oyster.
(Try saying that fast!)
Why did the whale like the diver?
Because he had flippers.