A man with pain on his right knee consulted his doctor.
Doctor said: "It is nothing to worry about. It is due to old age."
Patient: "The left knee is of the same age. But how is it that leg does not pain?"
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What's green and yellow and eats nuts?
Gonorrhea.
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Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore.
Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!
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Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
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Yo mama is so dumb she stuck a battery up her butt and said, "I got energy!"
Chuck Norris tells clocks what time it is.
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Chuck Norris brings his fists to gunfights.
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If you are next to Chuck Norris then you will always have perfect cell phone reception.
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T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons.
Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
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Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?
A: Laughing stock.