Yo mama so fat that her knuckles have sideburns.
What's the difference between a leprechaun and gonorrhea?
One's a cunning runt.
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Three old men were sitting on a porch.
"I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one.
"I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another.
"I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."
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A man with pain on his right knee consulted his doctor.
Doctor said: "It is nothing to worry about. It is due to old age."
Patient: "The left knee is of the same age. But how is it that leg does not pain?"
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What's green and yellow and eats nuts?
Gonorrhea.
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Yo mama is so dumb she stuck a battery up her butt and said, "I got energy!"
What do the latest Iphone 6 applications do?
Whiten teeth and perform laser eye surgery!
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Chuck Norris brings his fists to gunfights.
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If you are next to Chuck Norris then you will always have perfect cell phone reception.
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T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons.
Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
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