Doctor to woman patient: "Your husband is too fond of strong coffee. You should not give it to him."
Patient: "But you should see how excited he gets when I give him weak coffee."
Q: What do you call a women who does as much work as a man?
A: A lazy b*tch.
Chuck Norris got added by facebook itself.
Vote:
The wife told me to talk to her like she was special the other day.
So I said, "gooooo ... annddd ... makkee ... meeee ... a ... cuuuppp ... offffff ... coofffeeeeeee ..."
Yo mamma so stupid when she went to the library to get an application for a library card they said: "I need your ID" she gave them an EBT card.
Q: What do you get if you cross a football team with a flower center?
A: Nottingham forest.
Q: What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy?
A: Hoppalong Cassidy.
Yo mama so old when she raised her eyebrows they fell off.
Once upon a time, my wife and I were in the local restaurant.
We have talked to each other, but after a while, I have become quiet and then I started to talk, I have said: "you know, I love you so much, I will never leave you, never, ever, every single day I think only of you, we will be always together."
My wife has asked me: "Oh, darling, these words were addressed to me?"
I have said only: "Oh, no, sorry, darling, this time I am talking to this bottle of beer."
What is the feeling that you've smelled a certain skunk before?
Deja phew.