What’s the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull?
Lipstick.
A man goes into a bank and asks the cashier to check his balance, so the cashier pushes him over.
What’s the difference between a pigeon and a tramp?
The pigeon can put a deposit on a Porsche.
Yo momma’s so fat, her chairs have seat belts.
Yo momma’s so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail order.
All I ask for is the opportunity to prove that money doesn’t buy happiness...All most people want is a chance to prove money can’t make them happy.
If women knew what men were really thinking, they'd never stop slapping them.
Chuck Norris broke the world record for most punches in a minute with one roundhouse kick.
Vote:
Doctor doctor I feel that Im a pack of card. What can I do ?
Doctor: I deal with you later.
You're so ugly, Yo' Mama had to be drunk to breastfeed you.