Q. What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? A. She moved.
What’s the difference between a hooker and a lawyer? The hooker will stop screwing you when you’re dead.
Yo momma’s so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail order.
What I want to know is how did a fool and his money get together in the first place?
Yo momma’s so fat, her belly button doesn’t have lint, it has sweaters.
Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop? A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers
How do you join the police? Handcuff them together.
Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while before I get hard again, I just got laid by a chick.
Q: Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.? A: Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? A: The lawyer charges more.