Why did the teacher jump into the lake? Because she wanted to test the waters!
"Yo momma so fat when she steps on a weighing machine, it read ‘one at a time, please'!"
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
Yo Mama's like a fast food retaurant, she takes orders from the front and the back.
A famous boxer must be operated by appendicitis. From the operation room the doctor gets out holding himself to the walls with a bruised eye and says: A can’t do this anymore! I try to anesthetize him, I count until 9 and he gets up and starts punching me...
Yo' mama so fat, she uses epileptic boys as vibrators!
There where two snakes talking. The 1st one said 'Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they're dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?'. Then the second Snake says "Why do you ask?" The 1st one replies: "I just bit my lip!"
"Mommy, Mommy! Where have all your scabs gone?" "Shut up and eat your corn flakes."
Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees. He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.