What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
Don't type "Chuck Norris" on Monster Milktruck, your milk will turn into beer.
Vote:
Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
Vote:
The name of the anime Soul Eater was actually inspired by one of Chuck Norris' nicknames.
Vote:
What should you call a bald teddy?
Fred bear .
What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day?
After a week he was spotless.
I took two marriage vows.
Silence and poverty.
Man to friend: ‘My wife’s a peach.’ Friend: ‘Because she’s so soft and juicy?’
Man: ‘No, because she has a heart of stone.’
A woman is speaking to her friend, ‘My husband has got one foot in the grate.’
‘Don’t you mean one foot in the “grave”?’ says the friend.
‘No,’ replies the woman.
‘He wants to be cremated.’
Vote:
A drunk is sitting on a park bench staring disconsolately at a bottle of beer.
A man passes and asks him what the matter is.
‘I don’t know what to do,’ says the drunk.
‘My heart says yes, my mind says no, and I haven’t heard from my liver in two days.’