If it were true that you are what you eat.
Then you are about to be a roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris once decided to dig a hole, today we call it the Grand Canyon.
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Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion?
Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.
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What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
Don't type "Chuck Norris" on Monster Milktruck, your milk will turn into beer.
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Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
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The name of the anime Soul Eater was actually inspired by one of Chuck Norris' nicknames.
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What should you call a bald teddy?
Fred bear .
What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day?
After a week he was spotless.
A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans.
All of the hands go up except for one student.
"Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?"
"The Red Sox."
"Why's that?"
"Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I'm a Red Sox fan too."
"That's not a good answer, Bobby.
If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?"
"No, that would make me a Yankees fan!"