Yo' Mama is so fat, she uses transport trucks as roller skates.
How much do I owe Yo' Mama? My dog came home happy last night.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she has to use a telephone pole as a tampon.
A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden two turtles appear. They rough up the snail, take his money, and leave him for dead. Months later in the courtroom, after the two turtles have been arrested, the judge asks the snail to describe what happened on the night of the assault. The snail says, "Gee, I would love to, your honor, but it all happened so fast!"
Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers? A: To practice.
What season is it when you are on a trampoline? Spring time.
What’s the difference between a hooker and a lawyer? The hooker will stop screwing you when you’re dead.
Yo momma’s so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail order.
Yo momma’s so fat, ‘Place Your Ad Here’ is printed on each of her butt cheeks.
Chuck Norris has a Roundhouse Kick button on his Facebook page, and when he deletes a friend they actually die.