Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.
Why beer goes through your system so fast? Because it does not have to stop to change color.
What do you give a cat for its birthday? A catologue.
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other: "So what do you think of mad cow disease?" The other replies: "I don't know, I'm a chicken!"
Your Mommas so fat the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale!
3 girls step on a magic rug that makes u disappear if u tell a lie. Brunette: I think I'm the prettiest girl in school. *poof* Red-head: I think I'm the most popular girl in school. *poof* Blonde: I think-. *poof*
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Yo mamma’s so fat, her belly button looks like a black hole!
A female police officer arrests a guy for drunk driving. While reading him his Miranda Rights, the female officer tells the man: "Sir, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say, can and will be held against you." "Boobs" the drunk replied.
Yo momma’s so stupid, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet.