Best jokes ever

A man walked into a lawyer's office. "How much does your advice cost?" he asked the lawyer. "Fifty dollars for three questions," replied the lawyer. "Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man. "Yes," the lawyer replied, "And what was your third question?"
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer, money
Yo mama is so ugly she made the ugliest person in the world cry.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer
CEO frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny, meeny, miney, moe." Windows XP shutdown screen reads, "It is Now Safe to Start Looking for Work." Company softball team downsized to chess team. Company president now driving a Hyundai. Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: business, car, IT, management, work
Mess with Chuck Norris, you get roundhouse kicked.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q: What do you call a cremated black person? A: 100% cocoa powder.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, racist
When Chuck Norris visits Europe on vacation, France surrenders.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris
An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application. Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough. He opens his shirt and shows them the gray hair on his chest and they accept that as proof. He goes home to his wife, shows her the check, and explains to her what has happened. She replies, “Well get back down there, pull down your pants, and see if you can get disability!”
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: old people
What do you call an easy-going rabbit? Hoppy-go-lucky.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
A man walks into a nearly empty bar and orders a drink. He's sitting alone at the end of the bar, sipping away, and he hears a voice. "Nice shirt." He looks around and sees no one nearby. He forgets about it and continues drinking. "Nice tie," the voice says again. He looks around a second time. The bartender and all other customers are at the other side of the room. Confused, the man calls the bartender over and asks about the mysterious voice that admired his clothing. "Oh, that's the peanuts," the bartender said. "The peanuts?" asked the man. "Yeah, they're complimentary."
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender


<<<1062106310641065
More jokes →
Page 1062 of 1380.