Best jokes ever

An old lady really wanted to visit England, the home of her ancestors, before she died. So she went to the Federal Office and asked for a passport. “You must take the loyalty oath first,” the passport clerk said. “Raise your right hand, please.” The old gal raised her right hand. “Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?” The sweet old face paled and the voice trembled as she responded, “Well, I guess so, but. . .will I have help, or will I have to do it all by myself?”
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More jokes about: old people, priest, travel
Q: Why do cops arrest black people? A: Because monkeys belong in cages.
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More jokes about: animal, black people, cop, prison
One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. The deaf policeman heard the noise, and came and shot those two dead boys. If you don't believe this joke is true, ask the blind man, he saw it too.
Vote: has 35.87 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, cop, death
Why did the Irishman wear two condoms? To be sure, to be sure.
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More jokes about: sex
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave." The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge...no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line!"
Vote: has 35.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, military
Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning. Class: Hooray! Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.
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More jokes about: school
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.
Vote: has 35.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Yo Mama so fat her BMI is measured in acres.
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More jokes about: Yo mama
I'm not saying I'm racist at all, but... I put chocolate milk in back of the fridge.
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More jokes about: chocolate, food, racist
Girlfriend left but my heart is not broken... My heart is not made in China!
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More jokes about: racist