Warning: Consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.
Some advice for guys: When the red river's flowin', take the dirt road.
Q: What did the apple say to the worm? A: You're boring me.
Yo momma’s so ugly, she got a sex change and the surgeon had to flip a coin.
Justin Bieber was inspired by Usher because of his music and dance, Usher was inspired by Michael Jackson The King of Pop, Michael Jackson was inspired by...Chuck Norris.
Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors? Because, if it had 4 doors it would be chicken sedan.
TECH: Hello, Friendly Internet. May I help you? CUSTOMER: Oh, hello young man. I was wondering if you offer online banking? TECH: We're an Internet service provider, ma'am. You can certainly use our service to connect to online banking. CUSTOMER: What do I need to do that? TECH: You just need the modem in your computer. That plugs into a phone jack. Sign up for an account, and sign up for online banking with your bank. CUSTOMER: But where does the money come out? TECH: I'm not sure I understand? CUSTOMER: You know...Does the money come out from that slot on the computer?
A desperate man enters a bar and says: All the lawyers are stupid!!! From a table a solid man rises up and goes to the desperate man: Take that back! Why? Are you a lawyer? No, I’m stupid...
Yo momma’s so fat, the weather people give names to her farts.
A man is talking to the tax inspector who’s come to review his records. The inspector says, ‘As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to pay them with a smile.’ ‘Thank God for that,’ replies the man. ‘I thought you were going to ask for cash.’