The bartender looks a little worried, but asks him what would he like.
"A cup of boiled water please"
"Water? I thought you guys drank blood"
"Today I was in the mood for tea", says the vampire while taking out a tampon.
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When Chuck Norris plays hangman, he decides what the word is.
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Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
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Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.
"My name is Billy.
What's yours?" asked the first boy.
"Tommy," replied the second.
"My Daddy's an accountant.
What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy.
Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer."
"Honest?" asked Billy.
"No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
Teacher: “You missed school yesterday, didn’t you?”
Boy: “Not a bit!”
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.
Kryptonite is ancient Latin for Chuck Norris
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How do you get a Jewish girl's number?
You pull up her sleeve.
What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float?
You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it.
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