Chuck Norris just checked out from 501... In 8 darts.
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Q: How is spinach like anal sex?
A: Chances are if you're forced to have it as a child you are probably going to hate it as an adult.
Q: How do you know if a girl is pregnant?
A: Shove a tampon and see if all of the cotton is picked.
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The bartender looks a little worried, but asks him what would he like.
"A cup of boiled water please"
"Water? I thought you guys drank blood"
"Today I was in the mood for tea", says the vampire while taking out a tampon.
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When Chuck Norris plays hangman, he decides what the word is.
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A mathematician, physicist and economist after Titanic crash on uninhabited island in the middle of Atlantic ocean.
Starving to death they found a can of roastbeef.
They start debating how to open the can without can-opener.
Mathematician suggests to drop the can from the cliff to open it.
Physicist proposes to heat the can on bonfire.
Economist: "Let's suppose the can is opened...."
A patient: "Doctor, I don’t feel hungry after taking meal."
Doctor: "Really, your condition is very serious. Wait a bit."
(After sometime, the doctor holds out some medicines).
Doctor: "Take these pills. You take one pill after your sleep and another one before you get-up."
Q: What do you get if you cross a fence post was a kitty?
A: A poleca.
The holiday season: A deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
Scissors are told not to run with Chuck Norris.
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