3 girls step on a magic rug that makes u disappear if u tell a lie. Brunette: I think I'm the prettiest girl in school. *poof* Red-head: I think I'm the most popular girl in school. *poof* Blonde: I think-. *poof*
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Yo mamma’s so fat, her belly button looks like a black hole!
A female police officer arrests a guy for drunk driving. While reading him his Miranda Rights, the female officer tells the man: "Sir, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say, can and will be held against you." "Boobs" the drunk replied.
Yo momma’s so stupid, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet.
Q. Why is it okay for dumb blonde's to catch cold? A. They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk." Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go." Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."
A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll.