Best jokes ever

Q: What do spaghetti and blondes have in common? A: They both wiggle when you eat them!
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: blonde, food
A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?" The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had." The bartender says, "What do you have?" The guy says, "75 cents."
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, money
The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson. "Is the word spelt p-u-t or p-u-t-t?" she asked the instructor. "P-u-t-t is correct," he replied. "Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: golf, sport
In a park people come across a man playing chess against a dog. They were astonished and said: "What a clever dog!" But the man protested and replied: "No, no, he isn't that clever. I'm leading by three games to one!"
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: dog, game, sport
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, love, Valentines day
Yo mamma’s so fat, that if you throw her out the window people will start screaming: Look, a flying saucer!
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
Chad: Why do magicians do so well in school? Josh: I don’t know. Why? Chad: They’re good at trick questions.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: school
There is the story of a preacher who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: money
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said... 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
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