Best jokes ever

A neutron walks into the hotel bar and asks "how much for a beer?" The bartender says, "for you? no charge."
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
He: So then, what's your sign? She: Dollar.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: women
How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender!
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: black humor
A guy named Benny is sitting in a bar mouthing off that he knows everybody. So his buddy bets $10 the next person to walk in the bar didn't know him. Somebody walks in the bar and says "Hey Benny what's up?" so the guy then bets him $100 he doesn't know the first person they see outside walking down the street. So they go outside and see some coming up to the bar and says "Hey Benny how are things going?". Flustered the guy bets him $500 he doesn't know the President. So they drive up to the white house and the security guard says "Benny you know you can't just show up here like this." Then a limo pulls up with the president in it and he rolls down the window and says "Hey Benny how have you been?" So then he bets him $1000 he doesn't know the Pope. So they take a plane down to Rome and he says" Ok now watch up there on that balcony I'm gonna come out there with the Pope." So he goes up there and looks down to see his friend pass out. He goes down there and says "Are you that surprised that I know the Pope?" he goes "No somebody walked behind me and said who's that guy up there with Benny!"
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Q: What did the blonde say when she was offered a position at the UN? A: Would that be a "missionary position?"
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: blonde
There were three strings that walked into the bar. They sat down and they didn't get waited on so the first string walked up to the bar and asked for three beers. The bartender said, "I'm sorry buddy we don't serve strings in here." The string walks back to the table and tells his friends what the bartender said. "I've been here before and gotten a drink, I'll go get us something to drink," said the second string. The second sting walks up to the bar and politely asks the bartender for three beers. The bartender says, "I thought I told your buddy we don't serve strings in here." So the second string walks back and and tells his friends what has happened. The third string says "Oh, I come in here all the time, I know how to order something to drink." The third sting walks to the restroom where he ties himself up and muffs up his end. He then walks out to the bar and asks the bartender for three beers. The bartender kind of looks at him weird and says, "You a string?" "Frayed knot," he replies.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, beer
Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: insulting, stupid, technology, Yo mama
What does an annoying pepper do? It get's jalapeño face
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: food
Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer? He wanted her to hit the hay!
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Meanwhile, all the other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. As soon as he pulled onto the street, the officer stopped him, read him his rights and administered the breathalyzer test to determine his blood-alcohol content. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: bar, car, cop
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