Best jokes ever

Doctor: "You have cataract in your eyes. But you need not worry It is hereditary." Patient: "Death is also hereditary. Does it mean we should not worry about it?"
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More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
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More jokes about: women
A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach. Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff." So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away. Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away. Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"
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More jokes about: animal, blonde, genie, ginger
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday Night morning? "Tell her a joke on Monday Morning."
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More jokes about: blonde, time
Virus "Windows" found: Delete, Repair, Next?
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More jokes about: IT
A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.
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More jokes about: car, cop, drunk, wife
Five men and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck. Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal. Each man will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next man in line will marry her and so on. All the men get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different man each week. The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies... The first week after wasn't too bad. The second week was geting sort of bad. The third week was getting pretty bad. The fourth week was really bad. The fifth week was horrible! By the sixth week it was unbearable... so they buried her.
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More jokes about: desert island, disgusting, marriage, time, women
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
I'm a blonde! I'm a blonde, yay! B-L-O...? I'm a blonde, yay!
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More jokes about: blonde
What do you do if your dishwasher breaks down? Kick her where the sun don't shine.
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More jokes about: women