What do you call a blonde with a brain? A golden retriever.
A life? Cool… Where can I download one of those?
how do you keep a black person out of your backyard? Hang one in the front.
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called "Man, The Master of Womem"? Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
“Oh, I sure am glad to see you,” the little boy said to his grandmother (on his mother’s side). “Now Daddy will do the trick he’s been promising us.” The grandmother was curious. “What trick is that?” she asked. “He told Mommy that he’d climb the walls if you came to visit,” answered the boy.
Yo Mama's glasses are so thick she looks at a map and sees people waving.
Chuck Norris drew a triangle with four sides.
Q: What do you call an eternity? A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
An old lady really wanted to visit England, the home of her ancestors, before she died. So she went to the Federal Office and asked for a passport. “You must take the loyalty oath first,” the passport clerk said. “Raise your right hand, please.” The old gal raised her right hand. “Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?” The sweet old face paled and the voice trembled as she responded, “Well, I guess so, but. . .will I have help, or will I have to do it all by myself?”
Q: Why do cops arrest black people? A: Because monkeys belong in cages.