Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.
There is the chief of Indians, and he is going down a field with his tribe, and they come across a pile of sh*t.So the chief asks his tribe men : "Does this look like sh*t to you?" "Yes is does", they replied. "Smell it. Does it smell like sh*t to you", asks the Chief. "Mmmmm..Yes" "Feel it. Does it feel like sh*t to you?", says the Chief. "Mmmmm..Yes" "Lick it. Does it taste like sh*t to you?", inquires the Chief. "Ammmm...Yes" "Good. Don't step on it!"
When Chuck Norris visits Africa, the animals are required to stay in their cars.
Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen. Twice.
Q: What do spaghetti and blondes have in common? A: They both wiggle when you eat them!
Chuck Norris doesn't get drunk. He simply lowers his IQ to yours.
Chuck Norris can turn on clapper lights by flexing.
The Twilight Zone enters the Chuck Norris Zone.
An advertisement: I change 40-year-old wife to two 20-years-old ones. Do not offer four 10-year-old ones.