I have two accounts on Facebook it means I have two faces. It's really good because one is cuter to attract people.
I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
Q: Why are crippled people always picked on? A: Because they can't stand up for themselves.
Q: How do you know the Easter Bunny is really smart? A: Because he's an egghead.
Yo mammas so fat they had to make a new number.
Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
A wife returns late at night back home. "Where have you been?" asks her husband. "With a friend. But don't worry, there were no men." One day later the husband returns back home late. "Don't worry; I was also with a friend. And there were no men either…"
Q: What's the difference between jews and boyscouts? A: Boyscouts come back from their camp.
Little Johnny took sex ed and every day when little Johnny would come in from school he'll tell his dad for learning sex ed well one day we'll just come in and he said that I got thrown out sex ed Lil Johnny's daddy says how do you get thrown out sex ed Little Johnny said well Dad I got in trouble for eating during class.
What's better than 10 dead babies in 1 bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags.